For you (Spn x Male!Reader) [It's Bad, It's Cringy.]

Chapter 2: Painful Love

A slap on my face was not what I expected at all.

"What the fuck ?! A deal with a demon ?! What was going on in your little brain ? Do you think it's funny ? Haven't I talked about how it's like ?!"

" You said that you didn't liked men ! I love you and if it means going to Hell just to hear you say "I love you too" it's more than fine !"

Sam and Bobby were astonished. Dean's face softened a bit. But the sorry look on his face, I will always remember it.

"Didn't you say you understood ? I said that I only liked you as a brother, I'm sorry..."

I wanted to scream, it was impossible, inconceivable. I threw myself in Dean's arms, desperate.

"Please Dean ! Even if it's fake ! Fake being in love with me !"

"I can't do that, I care about you, I don't want to hurt you"

"Even if you only use me for sex it's fine ! Please, do whatever you want with me ! Please, please, please !"

I kept repeating that last word like a mantra. I felt like I was going mad. How life was unfair with me. How I wish I had died with my parents. How I wish I never met the Winchester. How I wish I have never met Dean

Dean who just pushed me. Dean who just slapped me again. Dean who ordered me to get a grip of myself. Dean who turned around and walked upstairs without a word. Dean who I just lose. Dean who shattered my heart in million pieces.

Sam was calling him, following him upstairs. Bobby was beside me, knelt down. I didn't remember falling on my knees. I couldn't cry anymore. I was too tired. I wasn't in Hell yet, but it sure felt like it.

It's been a week. I stayed in my bedroom, doing nothing. Bobby and Sam came sometimes, tried to talk, leaved me something to eat. But I didn't moved, I didn't said anything. I didn't want to see Dean. Or Castiel interacting with him. I was so jealous of the relationship he had with him. All of this make me feel sick.

"Why, it doesn't seems to go well between you and Dean"

No reaction.

"Come on ! The king of Hell is in your bedroom and you're doing nothing ?"

Get out Crowley.

"Say something darling, it's not like you to be silent..."

Please leave me alone.

"At least tell me what happened !"

A pillow made contact with Crowley's face. It wasn't enough. I wanted to hurt him more.