Contrast~ A Conor & Jack Maynard Fanfiction

25

I've been keeping up with my YouTube channel and uploading a video weekly. I've been mainly uploading on Sunday's so I decided that my videos will go up on Sundays. The past few weeks I would meet up with Marcus. He's helped me with a diet plan. Not to exactly lose weight but just to be healthy. He's also been helping me out at the gym. I have lost a little weight but just the right amount that I wanted. But I feel better about myself. Conor doesn't know about this though. I haven't wanted to tell him. I've been making videos with Caspar, Marcus, Oli and more with Joe but still not one with Conor. I've even featured in one of Jack's videos. But I told Conor I would go to the Brits with him today. I am nervous about today though. A couple of years ago, and even when I was a child, I had very bad anxiety. It would go away but come back. Sadly it is coming back. I never told anyone about this. Only my family knows. Joe or Conor have no idea about my anxiety problems. I'm anxious though already. We are also just arriving at the red carpet for the Brits. Conor helped me out of the car. He was wearing a simple black and white suit. I had a black dress with a trim of silver and a bit of cream color to it. I love it.
"Are you ok?" Conor asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I smiled but I'm lying. I'm anxious right now but I'm trying to stay calm.

Along the red carpet we took several pictures and Conor stopped for a few interviews. We are at the last few photos and I'm freaking out. I can't anymore.
"Conor, can we please get off the carpet now? And, like, head inside or something?" I questioned as I looked at him.
"Yeah." He was concerned. He walked me off the carpet and inside. I let go of him once we got away from the cameras. I'm having an anxiety attack.
"I can't, I can't." I said as I started to tear up and ran one of my hands through my hair.
"Liz, are you ok? What's going on?" Conor worried as he held my shoulders.
"I didn't tell you this and I never wanted to because I hoped that it wouldn't come back but I have really bad anxiety problems. And I think I'm having an anxiety attack right now. I started to have bad anxiety when I was about eleven or twelve but it went away. But around time of when I went to university my anxiety came back. I thought I was done with it after it went away during university but it didn't. And I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about my anxiety. I'm sorry for rushing us off the carpet and rushing us in here and having this anxiety attack. I just- I- I- I-"
"Liz, it's ok. It isn't your fault. Anxiety happens but I'm here for you." Conor gave me a kiss on the forehead then a hug. He didn't let go, "I don't want to see you cry. Especially right now with that amazing dress on you. I'm here for you. I'll always comfort you when you need it. I'll laugh with you, I'll cry with you, and to be honest, even if we argue I'm just happy it is with you because that means we are together. I'm always here for you. I know you technically aren't supposed to say relax and calm down when someone is having an anxiety or panic attack but I'm still gonna say it. Please calm down and relax. You're with me. How could you possibly be anxious?" That actually made me chuckle a little, "I don't exactly know what it feels like to have an attack but I've had anxiety. Recently also. My second album has been making me anxious because I have no idea when it is going to be ready. I tell everyone this year but honestly I say that when I'm freaking out. Making this album has giving me so much anxiety but being with you relaxes me. I really hope that at some point you are with me and you get no anxiety. I'm also hoping that I am actually helping you right now because I have no idea." Conor chuckled and so did I.
"You are actually. Only a little bit but you are." I told him.
"Good, but would you like to sit down or-"
"Yeah we can go sit down." I told him. He gave me a kiss and took my hand. We turned the corner. Walking towards us was Dan and Phil.
"Conor!" Phil smiled.
"Hey guys." Conor smiled at them then gave them both a hug.
"I haven't seen you in awhile." Dan smiled.
"I know, I know."
"Liz, am I correct?" Phil questioned.
"Yes." I nodded.
"We love your videos." Phil smiled.
"Thanks."
"Would you ever want to make a video?" Dan asked.
"Um, yeah sure." I smiled.
"Great, but we have to get going. Nice meeting you and seeing you again Conor." Dan smiled.
"We are going to interview One Direction. Well, whomever showed up." Phil shrugged and Dan and Conor chuckled.
"See you guys later." Conor smiled.
"Bye." They said then continued to walk their way and we walked our way.
"Well I'm sure Harry is on a Yacht somewhere and Niall is probably playing golf or something so it's probably just Louis and Liam." Conor said.
"Maybe." I'm still anxious.
"Do you want to stay because you don't have to."
"No, I want to stay. I'm at the Brits. Of course I want to stay." I smiled.
"Ok, but if we need to leave then we'll leave." He said.
"Ok thanks Conor." I gave him a kiss.