Is it she again? When could it be my turn? When will I get your attention? When would be the time that I'm the one you're looking for? Why did when it's about her it's like you're always interested? Why did I feel like you're feeling something special for her? Or maybe everything was just my imaginations. Is it how it feels? It is really hurtful, a heart breaker. It is pernicious. I am a live, breathing but it seems colorless life.
From the very beginning I actually knew that your attention wasn't on me and I will never ever get your attention 'coz I know I'm not worth it for your attention or even for your golden time. Who am I to you to give even just a bit of your attention? Oh! Yeah! I remember, I'm just nothing to you, I'm not even worth for it. I'm just a simple girl, I can't even call myself beautiful 'coz I know I'm not, so why would you even care for me? Who am I to you to waste your time for? I know I get it that would never ever happen even in my wildest dream. Yes, I'm accepting every inch of this fact but it's really painful to saw it with in my bare eyes. It is very painful to be slap in the face with the truth, the fact that you'll never ever be mine. But who am I to not hope, right?
Sometimes even though we know that there's no chance anymore we still rely on it, we're still hoping even though it is vague to happen because we venture that MAYBE, maybe our love wins.
Yes, I know that I'm not the kind of girl you'll like but is it wrong to try? Is it bad to take risk in something that I know I already lose from the very beginning?
Can I still handle my feeling for you and take the risk being hurt or should I give up on it? I'm trying to do everything. I'm willing to do everything if it's for you. Even if I know that there will never be US, unlikely to have US.
While staring at you I saw the happiness in you and it's because of her, not because of me. Tears in my eyes are just a teeny little that I cannot help but seep. Sadness and pain embrace me. I'm trying to be happy but I can't if you're not the reason of my every smile and laugh.
I didn't understand myself anymore. I'm scared that I'll ruin everything. I'm scared to do something that might hurt you. Its fine by me that I'm just the one hurting all I need to know is that you're happy even if it means that I'm hurting. Your happiness is my happiness. I'm afraid to lose whatever we have right now even though it was just as classmates. Just seeing your every smile is enough for me. I cannot even explain everything but I know in myself that you are someone special. You're one of a kind, a good son of God. You're a person who has a pure heart.
Until when will I suffer from this undeniable love for you? How long can I endure everything? Can I still bare all the pain? Can I still handle it? Can I still do it? I'm tired in getting hurt all the time. It's not just my body is lifeless but I think my heart too. Did you know that I'm very scared that you'll find out my love for you? I'm scared to know what would be your reaction. I'm scared that you'll push me away. I'm scared that you'll reject me. I'm scared that you'll throw me out of your life. I'm afraid that my heart will shatter into pieces again. I didn't wish you to love me back that's why I choose to hide this love I'm feeling for you.
This is my last word to you.
"I'lldo everything to be someone worth it for your love. I'll wait until you'llnotice me. I'll wait until I can. But I can't promise that I can wait forever."
YOU ARE READING
The Girl You Never Noticed
Short StoryTo Love is part of our Life. To be loved back is such a blessing, but sometimes we're stupid falling in love to someone who can't love us back. To Love is not a sin, but to Love is such a painful truth.
