Grace [SEBASTIAN STAN]

LIX: private messages

LIX. GRACE—CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE

seb:
Slight problem.

lizzie:
Oh god what did you do?

seb:
Why do you automatically think I did something?

lizzie:
Well did you?

seb:
Not this time!

lizzie:
Then what's your problem?

lizzie:
Is it Gracie?

seb:
Yes

lizzie:
Is she okay? Did something happen?

seb:
This isn't about that. But no, she's not okay.

lizzie:
Okay...then what's the problem?

seb:
She told me about her mom.

lizzie:
Okay? How did that go?

seb:
Alright, I guess. I just want to help her.

seb:
And I know it's not easy for people to love things about themselves that they've never loved before or have been told that it's wrong on them, but I HAVE to help her Lizzie okay? I just have to.

lizzie:
It's not going to be easy you know? Like not at all. It may not even be possible.

seb:
Just please help me help her. I don't know what to do or where to start.

lizzie:
You can only help her start to love things about herself if you love them too.

seb:
I do.

lizzie:
Are you sure you want to try this?

seb:
Yes. I'm sure.

lizzie:
You have to be 100% sure, because if you're not and you stop trying, it'll all go back to the beginning.

seb:
Liz I'm 110% sure I want to do this. I hate seeing her this way and I hate that she's not happy with herself.

seb:
I just want her to see what I see.

lizzie:
What do you see?

seb:
The little things. I want her to love them like I do.

seb:
Like her eyes, oh my god her eyes. She thinks they're just a boring poop brown but they're far from it Lizzie. She can't see it but when the sun hits them just right it's like I'm seeing a whole different planet.

seb:
Or how her smile could cure fucking cancer

seb:
Or how when a rock song comes on the radio, her fingers involuntarily bounce along with the drums instead of the bass, and her head follows along with it

seb:
And I love how she physically can't leave her house until she's had her "daily coffee", how she always leaves the cupboard doors open because she just forgets she opened it two seconds before, or how she can't cook to save her freaking life

seb:
I mean she makes me food and I eat it, but I totally lie and say it's good just so I can see her smile

seb:
Don't tell her I told you that omg she'd kill me

seb:
But I'm sure her trying to kill me would be cute too so

lizzie:
Holy shit

seb:
What?

lizzie:
You totally love her.

seb:
What are you talking about? We've only been dating a few months

lizzie:
But you've known her for longer than that, and you had feelings longer than that. You don't have to be in a relationship to fall in love with someone.

lizzie:
You can't tell me that after all of those messages that you don't believe you love her. You're doing all of this for a reason, and most people wouldn't even try because it'd be too hard.

seb:
Oh my god

seb:
What do I do?

seb:
Shit

lizzie:
Stop freaking out

lizzie:
Just tell her

seb:
Tell her?

seb:
teLL HER?

seb:
Are you crazy or something

seb:
Okay that's not even a question of course you're crazy

lizzie:
Oh my god are you serious

seb:
I can't tell her

seb:
What if she doesn't love me back

lizzie:
You're kidding right?

seb:
No

lizzie:
Oh my god just come to my trailer and I'll sit with you while you tell her

lizzie:
Mostly because I want to hear it but also because you're being a fucking chicken

seb:
Wow okay

seb:
I'm on my way

AUTHOR'S NOTE: bless lizzie and bless seb. next chapter is real life and I'm hoping to have it up today but we'll see! I really hope I can though 😁