Suicide Letters to My Angels

~ Syed ~

I could write chapters of words I wish to tell you. I could tell you of how much I'd loved you at first but I guess I should thank you. Thank you for showing me that love isn't always reciprocated. Thank you for being my therapist, best friend, my inspiration and muse for poetry. Thank you for helping me hold on amongst all the struggles and hurt. You were there for me after every failed relationship. Thank you for all the laughs and for all the jokes. I miss the cheeky side of you but it's okay. The mature side always makes up for it.

Thanks for last December you kept me holding on for this long. Thank you for entertaining me with our skype calls and petty chats. Even the fights were so childish and gave our friendship some spice. You know I pray that if I am reborn I am blessed with angels like you in my life. 

Maybe I might not rethink it this time. You won't even know when I'm gone. I'll miss those eyes when you smile how they sparkle. That hint of flirtiness in your tone. I'll really miss you dude but I need to get away from all this. You knew it all when it was happening and right now and what may happen..

It's the only permanent answer to all the stuff going on. I don't wanna be a bother to anyone. Sorry for those times I called you bro cause I know you wanted to shush we when I said it. But thank you for being there for me till now.

You know maybe I don't deserve to live. Maybe I don't deserve to irritate you. But I'll always love you as a friend and I'll really miss you. 

Be strong and move on. Trust me I won't even exist after a few weeks.