Food For Thought

Time

"That day was magical,probably it was planned and so god thought of giving me substanial memories with him so that i could live. That night he decorated the whole room with candles and flowers and made food for me, after dinner, I dont remember when i fell asleep by his side,the next morning,i woke upto a pale,white and cold companion on the bed, i woke upto the death of my husband,he died of a cardiac arrest is what the doctor told me, but i fail to understand how, how did this happen.? how did i not realise something was happening to him,why didnt he tell me.? Why .? Everyday i wake up on the same bed with the same questions,but no answer all  i realised in my journey after his death is that, what troubles me more than his absence is the feeling of betrayal,the feeling that he left without saying anything, the feeling of him walking away."

Saying that my eyes fill up,and i suddenly realise i have a four year old baby sitting next to me,"Your papa,is naughty you know.?"

She looks at me and smiles,"This was his plan to make me look ugly, he wanted me to cry so that my makeup spoils and i look  ugly,but can Ishika-s ever look ugly.?"

"Nooo",she sings in a nursery rhyme tune.

Rajeev looks at me,his eyes at their consoling best,but his heart felt with a lot more than sympathy.

"Papa,You can tell auntie to take our photo.!"

"Ishika!"

"Tell her talk.! Dont be a mean dad.!"

"Tell me sweetheart.!"

"Papa wants a nice photo with me,we dont have any good photo, will you take one.?"

"I'd love to,go,go to your papa."

I clicked a few pictures of them laughing giggling and some kissing each other. My husbands death created this uncomprehendable void in my life,i tried my level best to fill it up in the last few years but i couldnt, looking at Ishika today,made me realise my loneliness,my incompletance, the lack of love my life.

It had been an hour and a half since i was them, and i dont remember the alst time i laughed so much,or i felt so much of happiness.

I showed them their pictures,and surprisingly,the baby in Rajeev was more overjoyed than the baby itself,"thankyou so much.!" He said,and this time,i failed to judge his emotion,he looked at the picture,and hugged her tight and kissed her hard on the cheek,she giggles first and then yelled,"papa.!!",

"relax,Mr.Papa.! What is up with you.?"

"He does this everyday auntie,ever since my mumma left me at his house, he kisses me like this."

"why do you torture the child.?"

"Because..I wont have here around after awhile"

"What.?"

"We are getting a divorce and so,obviously She'll get the custody,so..I dont know what do to."

"No! why.?"

"She's too ambitious for me, she never loved me at the first place all she wanted was money and now that she started earning more than me she wants to leave me and Ishika"

"So why a divorce.? Just tell her to leave.! The court wont give you custody!"

"Allamony"

"Damn her, you just said she earns more.!"

"But i already have earned alot more than she ever will.!"

"oops rich dude.!"

"So now.?"

"Now ,my daughter is all I have..."

"What more do you need anyways.?"

"Time. I need time,six months is too less a time for a father who dreamt about his daughter's grandchild within six days of her birth.Ishika is the best thing ever happened to me.He kisses her hand and looks at me."

God has his own ways,its true. I have all the time in the world, i am a 30 year old woman who has nothing except memories to live for,where as Rajeev has a beautiful daughter one,his soul breathes for but he possibly cant witness his saughter's future the way he thought he would. 

Time is the only thing we rightfully have all the time,but it also the only thing most us lack of, i had never thought I'll marry the love of my life, I did, i spent long three years in his love but exactly a year after our real journey started i lost him to time. Our life is like a car racing game. The duration is preset by the programmer all you could do with it is ride it,struggle through it,win or loose,nobody cares but more often than never it is time that defeats you.

That one evening with my classmate and his four year old daughter,gave me the strength to live for a few more days than before, atleast till the next time i met them. 

Yes,i met them again, it took me six months to fight both my families and leave them behind,and decide to live for myself, soon i searched for a new apartment,and call it purely the magic of fate, i get an apartment on the same floor as Rajeev. As for him, he faught,he faught for his daughter,gave all the money his greedy wife could ask for, and worked harder to earn more for fulfilling his dreams about his daughter. 

Together,as friends we struggled for months, we struggled through my loneliness,through his financial fall back, what kept us going.? That little girl,who would look at me each morning i would pack lunch for her, that girl who would secretly thankgod for her Papa each morning. 

After about an year, on my birthday,he surprised me with another accidental kiss,this time, real and truthful, accompanied with a sterling ring. And as they say he lived happily ever after with both his Ishika-s.

The question is why didnt time defeat us.? 

It did just in a different way,14 years ago when we met as teenagers,we were two stubborn human beings,who were selfish day dreamers, today we are two adults,evovled from ashes of our memories likes a phoenix. Time does heal the world.