Mister Brightside

Prologue: The Letter

February 2013

Toronto Canada

Dear Noah,

You probably saw this coming. Everyone probably saw this coming. I tried so hard to fight off the demons that haunt me, but I just can't do it any longer, Noah. If you knew what it was like inside my head, then you would know that there is only one way out. I feel so guilty for not asking for your help sooner. Maybe things would have been different if I had just swallowed my pride and admitted that I had a problem. I just kept hoping that one day I would wake up and the voices would be gone. But I guess thats the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

I never wanted this life, Noah, you have to believe me. I never asked to be crazy. I never wanted to be the reason my parents split up because my problems put too much stress on their marriage. I didn't want the voices to shape me and ruin my relationship with Kelly. Sometimes I wish I could go back to when it all started and just end it there. Save everyone the stress and heartbreak from my actions. Its hard being put under that kind of pressure to be normal when you're constantly fighting with your own mind to stay sane. I feel like I let everyone down. It hurts me so much when Scout would say "Why can't you just be the old Blake? Not this monster you've become.." It would break me so badly. My own sister abandoned me. Just like my parents did. You're the only one that stuck around and tried to help.

Noah, I don't think I could ever thank you enough. Your friendship is probably what kept me going this long. But I can't go on any longer. Please tell everyone that I'm sorry I didn't try harder. Tell them that I wish things were different. By the time you actually find this letter I'll already be gone. So don't bother trying to stop me. I love you Noah. You're my best friend and the closest thing to a brother I've ever have. Tell Kelly that I'll always love her. I hope to see you guys one day. If I end up in Heaven or whatever. Oh and Noah? Turns out you were right. I am fucking crazy. Who woulda thought? oh comic relief.

l love you man. Keep my sister safe will ya? She's lucky to have you..

~Blake Cameron Mason

3/23/95-2/15/13