Never Let Go

Chapter 10

~Chapter 10~

She, as in my mother, hid away in her room for the rest of the weekend. The days past by painfully slow. I kept to myself and wallowed in my own misery but there was a tiny flame flickering inside my heart, giving me a dangerous glimpse of hope that maybe this was all temporary. Maybe it would get better.

I had Daniel to thank for that.

My mother was devastated to say the least. Despite their distant relationship, she loved him with every fiber of her being and it was weird to think of them not together, not to mention also painful. She was less of a wreck than that night. She was trying to string everything together and seem whole for my well being, but I was the one that needed to be there for her. It would take time before she was even a shell of herself again, so I would give her the space she needed until then. She always wanted to deal with these things on her own.

On Monday morning I woke up earlier than usual. I was partly glad to go back to school and burry myself in the distractions that it offered but a part of me wanted to stay in bed and hide beneath the covers, burry myself in the familiar warmth and sanctuary. But I knew that life went on, no matter what it threw at you, and that meant that I had to keep moving too.

I took my time getting ready; focusing on anything I could other than the obvious. I made a large breakfast, waffles and bacon and eggs. There were only two of us here to eat it, but I needed any sort of distraction, and besides, I knew that there was a slight chance that it would perk up my mother. Even the slightest improvement would be great.

She still hadn’t left her room by the time I had to leave, so I walked down the hall and stopped in front of their room and slowly pushed open the door, only to find it empty. Starting to panic, I hurried down the hall and checked the only other room she could be in, the guest room. The door was locked, which it never was until now, so it was a sure sign that she was in there.

“Mom,” I yelled softly, “I made breakfast…It’s in the fridge because I didn’t know when you’d want it, but please eat it when you can… You need to eat something.” I paused, waiting for a response, but hearing none. “I’m going to school. I’ll see you when I get home, I guess.”

There was still no reply, so I was forced to turn around and leave.

As I headed to school, I couldn’t shake the sadness that had sunk deep into my bones.

~'’~ ~'’~ ~'’~

I waited in English, sitting in my usual seat in the back. I was waiting for Daniel. I felt the urge to see him after what we’d shared the other night. Opening up to him had been one of the scariest things I’d ever done, but as he opened up to me, it became something terrifyingly beautiful.

My head snapped up towards the doorway as Daniel appeared, but not alone. Tracy accompanied him, her hand encased in his. I suddenly recalled when I had grasped his hand in the car, and he grasped mine back, offering me his strength. An emotion burned through me, and I felt it fester as Tracy leaned up on her tiptoes and pecked him on the lips.

She left after that and Daniel looked to me, his eyes burning into mine. They were full so much emotion and I felt the need to understand each one. I wanted to know what he felt and why he felt it. But I knew that wouldn’t happen again soon. Daniel was one to scarcely talk about his feelings, so I knew that night was special in its rarity.

He sat down next to me, still keeping eye contact.

I offered him a small smile. “Hi,” I murmured.

He smiled back. “Hi.”

“So…” I was at loss for words.

“How was the weekend? Any better?” He supplied.