My Marvel World

Chapter Nine

"Peter, um, I- wow, this is harder than Claire made it seem, um-" Josephine rambled, standing in front of Peter in the glass hallway. Shortly after making her 'big decision', she had ran after Peter, to go through with what she had decided on, but now that she was standing right in front of him, about to do this for real, it was a whole lot harder than she had anticipated.

She hastily brushed a piece of hair behind her left ear before opening her mouth to try and speak again, but Peter cut her off before she got to it.

"I think I might know what you're saying, Jose." He stated, nodding a microscopic nod as he looked down nervously and then back up to Jose's blue-grey eyes. She was waiting for him to say what he assumed she was going to do, worried that he would be wrong, and worried that he would be right, at the same time.

When Peter didn't finish, Josephine egged him on, "Well? Go on. What do you think I'm going to do?"

Peter had a pained expression, and Josephine felt as if her heart had either stopped completely, or was going to fast to even feel. She felt stupid, that this relationships thing had her all worried, and her heart beating fast, but it did, and she couldn't exactly do anything about it except for taking a deep breath.

"You're going to tell me we should just be friends, aren't you?" Peter asked, his voice sounding strained, and he worded the sentence as painlessly as he possibly could, even though it clearly hurt him to say it out loud, and to Josephine's face as well.

"How did you- are you- were you-?" Josephine didn't really know what she was trying to ask him, but it sure as hell didn't come out the way that her brain had planned. Right now, she was just trying to process how he knew, ahead of time, that she was going to 'break up' with him. (She sort of hated that phrase.) Psychic was one of the first things that came to her mind, but she immediately dismissed the thought, knowing that, if he was a psychic, he would have told her long ago.

"Do you really think you hide it that well?" Peter asked, incredulous for a second, but it was still mixed with a huge dose of pain. He was still as kind as ever, his words soft, not sharp. "Well, news flash,

Jose. You really don't. I'm sorry, but everyone sees the way you look at him. Everyone sees the way you are when you're with him. Everyone just knows, except for Charlie himself, naturally."

Peter was obviously trying to act lighthearted about it, but, if Josephine had to judge his acting right then, she would have told him that he needed to go get an acting tutor, he was that bad at it.

Josephine felt like she was going to cry, and she hated it. She didn't like crying, she didn't like feeling weak, she didn't like the way that everyone immediately pitied the person who was crying, without thinking that maybe the person didn't want to have anyone's pity.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered, trying to hold back her stinging tears, fighting the prickling at the back of her blue-grey eyes that Peter had always complimented with such compassion. "I am so sorry. I hate that."

Peter suddenly looked confused, his own eyes wet, "What do you hate?"

Josephine wiped her nose quickly with her sleeve. She didn't care how she looked in front of Peter. She half expected him to hate her after that, so she wasn't exactly trying to look her best. And, let's face it, who really looks their best when they're crying?

"That look in your eyes. You're trying to act like it doesn't hurt, but I can see it. It hurts more than you being heartless about it, like you never loved me in the first place. It shouldn't hurt you. I'm just- me." She told him in a strained voice, a few stray tears streaming down her pale cheeks, stinging her new flesh wound immensely, but she pushed it out of her mind as quickly as she could.

"Of course I loved you. Always had. I still do, you know. But you love him. And I understand. Charlie is a good guy. Decent. Even though he hates me, I've always thought he was that guy that I couldn't be. I'll stay away from that. Keep you guys out of trouble. I don't think he'd want his enemy around his girl." Peter told her, smiling a bittersweet smile, and she saw tears dripping down his cheeks too.

He turned around, Josephine being too choked up to reply, or she would probably start crying, as much as she hated it. She wanted to grab his arm, make him stay, tell him that she was so, so sorry, and that, if she could fix this, she would. But she didn't. Because a part of her didn't want to fix anything that was happening. A part of her knew what she was doing, and was proud of it.

Peter walked down the glass hallway at a normal pace, not looking back at her, because he was afraid he would start crying harder if he did. And he didn't want Jose to feel worse than she clearly already did. It made him feel bad that she was crying, but he knew that she was doing something that she wouldn't regret later.

Just as his hand reached to type in the passcode for the sliding doors, her voice rang out behind him, and he looked back at her, even though he had told himself not to:

"He doesn't hate you." She stated simply, her tears still flowing and wet on her face, making her long brown hair stick to her cheeks and neck like they had been glued there. She too, had that bittersweet smile on her face, both pain and an odd content. They both knew that this was exactly what was supposed to happen, and, no matter how much it hurt, they needed to do it.

"Oh. Good to know." He responded, a small smirk on his lips, and even though he was clearly hurt to walk away like he was, his eyes were filled with light. Jose was going to be happier with her life now. And if she was happy like that, then Peter couldn't possibly be sad about it.

He turned to leave again, but Josephine burst in, saying one last thing, "And, Peter, I am nobody's 'girl'."

And, with that having been sad, she smiled her bittersweet smile, the eyelashes around her blue-gray eyes wet from her tears that were barely beginning to dry on her face, and turned around, walking back to the infirmary.