askuroppa

Guard Down

Kris and his girlfriend have been dating for a few months; she's just finished telling him about how difficult it's been for her to let down her guard around him due to previous bad relationships. 

'If you'd rather not see me any more, I understand. Most men would bolt after what I just told them, so you don't have to feel bad for me.'

Kris lets out a snort in confusion. His brows start to knit at your theory. There is an odd silence he holds due to that – and he fiddles with something he has brought home with him – but he picks the pace up. 'What the hell are you talking about?' His lips part. 'What are your plans for today?' he ask. 'I came home to eat lunch.' And then he shrugs in perplexity.

'Kris, I'm serious.'

'I'm serious, too,' he claims. 'Did you cook? Or do you want take–outs?' He's already fiddling with his phone.

'I hate it when you do this to me.' You storm away from his sight, but he follows out of curiosity. 'You always change the subject when I try to let you know how I feel about some things we do together.'

He widens his eyes at what he hears.

'It's hard jolting from your sleep by your constant worries,' you complain. 'But I guess you sleep well enough to not realise what I go through.' Kris sort of rolls his eyes when you make it sound like he's suddenly the inconsiderable one in the relationship.

'So you think you're the only one who stays awake at nights to wonder?' Silence comes briefly then leaves. 'I have my own hard times focusing at work because I'm concerned about you, always tossing and turning and looking miserable when you said you weren't,' he breaks the secret, 'but did you know?'

'I don't think it's as serious until we think about it today.'

'I'm your boyfriend,' he assures, 'I don't think there isn't any issue we should look lightly upon when it comes to me, being your boyfriend. Someday I'm going to marry you and selfishly make you live with me for the rest of my life.'

You crack a smile at his idea. 'But we're still in the early phase.'

'Do early–phaser not have the dream to legally call their partners as theirs?'

'Marriage is just a contracted relationship. It won't certainly be the reason why I open up more, if you're wondering,' you say, being defensive about the actual points he strayed from. You have better idea of marriage and it's not that you're opposing it, but you know well enough why it scares you. 'My parents are married—but we can always stay like this.'

'And then what? We goin' to keep hiding the littlest things forever?' Kris unenthusiastically smirks. 'How long are you going to make me wait next time? Do I get to eat until?'

'Is food all—'

'No but food is what makes me see things clearer. People often get mad easier when hungry.' When you give him the look of done, he continues to bail himself in the argument: 'I believe marriage is more than that. I believe marriage is a more respectful way for people to not touch what I found and loved first. You may not think the same but that's what I believe. And about your case of insecurities,' he recaps, 'I don't care about how long you take to finally accept it that there's nothing I won't do to fix things if you actually tell me I was about to make the same mistakes your former idiots did.' He huffs. 'They didn't quite ask you to give and take in the relationships, didn't they? That's why they acted like each other.'

'You're not any better, either,' you remark.

'Well, yeah,' he says, 'but like you said, we're still in the early phase of our relationship.' And then he shrugs in such an ignorance manner. 'Except that I do better and they didn't. I stayed and they didn't. Neh neh.' He makes a face and crosses his arms in annoyance. 'Now when do I get to eat?' He comically widens his eyes when you don't react upon it. 'Let's start from how I think it'd be like as soon as I reached home, wow.'

'Kris.'

'Can you imagine, dating this man' – he puts two hands on his chest – 'and having the life where he comes home to you each time he has the chance to because the first thing you're going to experience in general is him announcing his return by loud calling for you right after he enters—which he didn't get to do today.' He stands there where he supposes. 'Maybe he's the type to hold on to his stupid pride and sort of waits there at the door for you to welcome him home because lover boy needs dramatic display of affection and he needs it immediately.'

And maybe lover boy needs to eat to think clear; and for lover boy's lover to sit and calm down in the meantime. 'I hope you like it cuddling whilst standing up for a moment,' you say. And then you give him a small smile, a reassuring one. 'I'm going to need some time to breathe you in after long hours, days, or months of a brief separation.'

Kris frowns again—his mouth is agape. 'I only left to buy chocolate spread for my breakfast tomorrow.'

'Sorry,' you snort at his defence because he looks like he was feigning what he said, 'I just have an issue with the thought of you leaving, too.'

'If it's too early for me to say that I'm aware of how worn out you are with people going out of your life, I surely will try to stay composed so I won't affect your decision and idea of me with stupid arguments that bring nothing.'

'Yeah' – you nod fast in agreement – 'I'm not fans of unnecessary affection when it comes to something that counts rationalism in. Like this insecurity I'm having.'

Kris licks the corner of his lips fast, but then lets a package in his hand slide down to the floor to approach you. He lays a hand on the top of your head. A moment later, he lets the same hand fall to your shoulder before it levitates to just graze your cheek; and you can see how much love he already has for you through his twinkling eyes that are staring back into yours.

His touch is velvety, and you can feel those fingers of him slither through your body and linger momentarily by your waist. You now know if he is hinting you of his imagination to crawling away and slipping into bed with you. A knowing unimpressed gasp from you is all he needs to remark I just want a tight cuddle, to make you feel safe and warm for so long at you; and as long as it can stay, you never want to break his lock around your belly.

Until it's suddenly your turn to frown. 'Are you fawning over me or are is it because you're hungry?'

He hisses. 'I thought you said you're not into angry se—'

You immediately dismiss, 'I'll reheat what I got on the table for you,' and trudges to the kitchen.