Fight

Chapter Nine- Chemo

[Chemo]

*Lyla*

January 24, 2016

"How is he?" 

I sit, perched on the couch with a warm blanket thrown over my lap and a cup of steaming hot coffee in my hands. There is a book that I have long forgotten, lying open beside me. My thoughts have been occupied with tomorrow, and what it will bring. After tomorrow, my life will be completely different. 

My eyes stare blankly at the muted TV in front of me, watching as housewives bicker and argue. Oh, I wish I had the mediocre problems they faced. 

Bianca's voice captures my attention and I turn to look at her. "Hmm? Who?" I ask, my eyebrows naturally furrowing with confusion. 

My friend is already dressed in her pajamas, at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. We had decided to let today be a calm day of binge watching our favorite movies. She is holding her own cup of coffee as she walks over to sit beside me on the couch. 

"Matt. How is he?" 

Hearing Matthew's name, I instantly blush and smile. I never would have thought that Matthew would stay. That, even though I am, as of now, dying from Leukemia, he isn't walking off and leaving me in the dust. Instead, he kissed me. He kissed me and told me we were going to fight this, together.

"He's good." I take a sip of my hot coffee and lay my head back against the cushion. "You know, you could go see him yourself... Have all the answers." 

It is apparent that Bianca still cares for Matthew. It is only normal, they were practically siblings. I still don't understand how Sam and Matt grew to hate each other, however. I want to ask Matt, I want answers myself. But I'm too afraid to risk our relationship. I don't want to lose him.

"I-I couldn't." 

"You could. I know it would make him very happy." 

And Matthew still cares for Bianca.

"No, no. Just, tell him I say hi." Bianca suddenly looks unsure of herself, a characteristic foreign to her. She is always so confident in everything she does, I envy her. 

I heed her wish and pull out my phone, shooting Matthew a quick text, telling him that I miss him and Bianca says 'hi'.

Bianca goes through OnDemand and picks one of our favorite movies: Bridesmaids. We laugh as we drink our coffee, and soon, I am nearly laying on top of her. Bianca holds me, as soft tears roll down my cheeks. 

I am scared. 

I don't want to miss out on watching comedies with Bianca.

Or seeing Sam fight, even though I've always hated it.

Or kissing Matthew.

Or riding Hershey with my parents.

Uncertainty is scary, and not knowing what the future holds, terrifies me. I have always wanted a baby, with a loving husband that will cherish both me, and his little princess. Is that dream still possible? 

My phone buzzes and I lift it so it's level with my eyes. 

Tell Bee I say hi and I wish she'd come talk to me herself. I miss you too, baby. How's your lazy day going? Nervous for tomorrow?

I relay Bianca's message to her before I respond. 

Of course I'm nervous. I'm not ready for cancer to be my life.

My stomach flutters from the pet name he called me. Ever since Dairy Queen, he has been calling me 'baby' and I certainly do not mind. 

Don't be. I'll be with you, every step of the way. That is a promise. Donovan says hi, and wishes you luck. Along with Talia and Austin.