Fight

Chapter Eighteen- Yes, I Do

[Yes, I do]

*Matthew*

March 18, 2016

I hate her.

No. It's impossible to hate her. Even if she robbed me of all my money, claimed she never loved me and killed my parents in cold blood, I wouldn't hate her. 

But I am hurt and angry. 

Angry at her? I don't know. 

Hurt by her? Definitely.

Lyla has known this big secret from the moment we met, and said nothing. That is what hurts the most. That she didn't admit to what really happened that night. That she lied to me, pretended that everything between us was honest and pure. But she knew and she used me. I would have given her everything I own. I would have given her my life.

She should have been honest at the beginning. Sure, I might have been hesitant of ever starting a relationship with her. But then our hearts wouldn't be shattered.

Oh, how I broke her heart...

The look on her face when I walked out of the room, it tore my already shattered heart into pieces. Does she not know what affect she has on me?

I had to leave. If I didn't, I would have been consoling her, telling her everything was alright. But then the next day would come and I would realize that everything wasn't. I would have given her hope that would be later stripped away. 

I sigh, leaning back into my chair as Austin wraps my hands. I peek a glance at Donovan, who is nearly sweating bullets, and Talia, who is biting her nails. They are both nervous for tonight.

I am fighting Samuel. 

There is a part of me that doesn't want to go into this fight. But another that can't wait to beat his face in. Even if Lyla did cause Amelia to turn around, it was Sam that she was texting that night. 

My phone buzzes beside me and I pick it up to see another text from Lyla. 

Matthew, please do not fight tonight. If you get hit the wrong way, that could be it for you. Please, just come home to me.

I can almost see the tears welling in her eyes as she sends me this text. Come home to me... She has no idea how much I want her to be my home.

Especially now that she is recovering, we can actually get married and have children.

But I can't. Not until I win this fight and I am free of my past. Free of the darkness that overshadows me. Free from my parents death. Amelia died that night, I can't confront her. But Sam is still alive and I have to get over this obstacle in my life. I have pinned my parents murder on Samuel for ten years. Even if it was entirely Lyla's fault, I have this sick vengeance that can only be sated with Samuel.

I hope one day I can move past all of this and be the man Lyla deserves. 

I don't blame her. How could I? She was a little girl who was scared of spending the night at another person's house. 

I hardly blame Samuel. It was Amelia that sent the text. She was the one who had her head bowed and drove through the red light. 

But she isn't here.

And Samuel is. 

I don't reply to Lyla's message, setting my phone in my gym bag and stand to do a few stretches. I glance at Donovan again who is shaking his head at me. 

"She's right. You shouldn't be fighting." I roll my eyes and crack my neck a few times. 

"If you're not here to support me then go home, Donovan." I mutter. I hear Donovan mutter something before he heads to the door.