Once and Again

Chapter Two

Rj strolled in the store around 10pm and placed his order. He looked around, but didn't find what he was searching for. This was the third Thursday he's been back since he saw her again.

He recalled back to that night.

As he took his purchase to that corner he usually occupied, he was surprised to see someone already there. He recognized that beautiful face – a face he had been staring at through photos posted in Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and her blog for the past four years.

Her face has changed but she remained stunning. She had always been beautiful, but now there was a certain edge of maturity that makes her ravishing.

When her brown eyes turned to him, he almost forgot to breathe.

She was back, he thought. He kept going back to this store for the past four years for this moment and when it was in front of him... he let it slip.

Before he left, he walked up to Katrina. "Hi, Ms. Kat. Thank you ulit sa pag-accommodate."

"No problem, Sir Alden."

"Ummm, si Ms. Maine? Wala siya ulit tonight?"

"Ay, pinili po niyang off pag Thursdays, Sir."

He faced a dilemma. He had wanted to speak to her for the longest time, but the way he ended things, he didn't want to open the conversation through social media accounts.

What would he do now? He didn't have her number, he wasn't sure if their address was the same... but if he sent her a message in Facebook, she would just hate him even more.

Why did I even wait four years? He berated himself.

Still unsure how to talk to her, he headed to the store for another Thursday and to his surprise Maine was manning the counter. As soon as her gaze landed on him, she rolled her eyes but kept her place.

Rj tentatively approached.

"Good evening, Sir. How may I help you?" Maine greeted, a little too sweetly.

"You're here."

"Kulang staff. How may I help you, Sir?"

"Pwede ba mag-order ng cheeseburger meal?"

"Sana hindi pero may choice ba ako?" She muttered under her breath. "Yes po, regular fries and regular drinks?"

"Yes."

After he paid, Maine started fixing his tray. Rj quickly borrowed a pen from one of the other wait staff and scribbled on his receipt, Can we talk, please?

"Order's complete, Sir. Enjoy your meal."

He took the tray and handed her the receipt – which she promptly threw in the trash.

"Bakit mo tinapon?" Rj couldn't help but say.

"Aanhin ko ho yung resibo niyo, Sir? Itatago ko? Souvenir na may bumili sa 'king artista today?"

"Pwede ba tayong mag-usap?!"

"May work pa ako."

"Hihintayin ko yung break time mo. Hindi ako aalis dito until we talk."

After waiting for about two hours, Rj noticed that Maine had changed and was headed out the door. Getting up quickly, he ran after her. "Hey, where are you going? Di ba I said we'd talk?"

"Yes, you said hindi ka aalis until we talk. I, however, didn't say that I won't leave. So, good night."

"Maine naman."

"ANO?!"

"Let's talk please."

"About what, Rj? Sorry, Alden pala."

"No, please. Rj nalang. I'm sorry, Maine. Sorry for all those years ago. Kausapin mo naman ako."

She sighed. "We ARE talking, at sa parking lot pa talaga o! Honestly, I don't know what else you want to talk about. We broke up. That's all there is to it."

"I just... I don't know. Alam ko mali yung reasons ko and I've been bothered by it ever since."

Maine leaned on her car, arms crossed and not looking at him. "Believe it or not, I understand naman why you did what you did. Don't get me wrong, I hate your guts for doing it and I'm not saying it's right, but I kind of understand. You were thinking of your family, I can't fault you for that."

Rj looked at her. "I'm sorry, Maine. I never wanted to hurt you. I just... couldn't risk losing that job. My family needed the money."

"I know." She looked at him. "So what? Okay na ba? Is that what you've been waiting for all these years? To check up on me to see that I'm okay or maybe I need to be saved?"

It took him awhile to answer. "Maine, I –"

"Look. All these years, I wanted closure, too, but seeing you again, I realized that sometimes closure doesn't come in the way you expect it to be. Please just leave me alone, Rj. Don't come back here. I'm okay in my corner of this world and I can honestly say now that I wish you well in yours."

He started to close the distance between them and reach out to her, but she was already in her car. "Maine. Sandali naman."

She opened her window.

"Tumabi ka diyan, baka masagasaan kita."

"O, tapos?!"

"Eh di tumabi ako." He told his sister, Riza, the following morning at the table while having breakfast.

"Jeskelerd... Ang tanga mo!"

"Huy, Kuya mo'ko."

"Oo nga. Tanga ka pa din." Riza insisted. "Wait nga, Kuya. Ano ba talaga balak mo? Ilang years na din kayo break, pabalik-balik ka dun sa store niya pero sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung ano ba talagang intention mo."

"I hurt her, Riza. I wanted to know that she's okay."

"Wow. Nakita mo naman siguro yun sa pagstalk mo ng mga accounts niya, di ba?" She looked at him intently. "Gusto mo ba siya balikan?"

Rj looked away. "Gusto kong sabihing oo. Look, interested pa din ako sa kanya pero ang tagal na naming hindi nag-u-usap so hindi ko alam kung mahal ko pa siya that way or it's more of fondness nalang specially since we shared good memories. Or... baka nga guilt."

"Kuya, I think it's unfair to ask her to accept you back into her life because you feel guilty about what you did all those years ago. Sabi mo nga, she understands why you did it. Enough na yun. Wag mo nang simulan 'to kasi sasaktan mo lang siya ulit." Riza advised.

"Can't we be friends again?"

"That assumes she's open to being friends with you. From your kwento? I think she's not willing to accept that. Let her go, Kuya."

Rj sighed.

Riza got up to bring her plate to the kitchen. "Waiting for her for four years and you tell me you're not sure... Kuya, buti nalang talaga gwapo ka 'no? Sobrang tanga. Pero gwapo."