Once and Again

Chapter Ten

"Anak, bakit ka nandito? Thursday ngayon ha?"

It had been two weeks since Rj had seen or spoken to Maine. He sent so many messages and called daily, but all of them remain unanswered. "Ayaw po ako kausapin ni Meng."

"Ah. Basted ka na?"

"Hindi pa... yata. Pero siguro naghihintay nalang yun ng timing para sabihin sa kin."

Rj's father nodded. "Okay. So bakit nagmumukmok ka lang diyan? Tanggap mo na? Titigilan mo na siya pag sinabi niya?"

Rj sighed. "Wala naman na ako magagawa eh. Hindi naman pwedeng love life lang atupagin ko."

"Yun ba yung hinihingi niya? Na lahat ng oras mo para sa kanya lang?"

"Hindi."

"Balanse lang, anak. Baka yun yung hindi niya makita sayo ngayon."

Rj sighed but didn't respond.

"Sabagay, I'm sure naman eventually makakapag-move on ka din. Mahahanap mo yung taong talagang mahal mo and yung kasama mong bubuo ng pamilya. At siya siguro ganun din."

That got him. Was he ready to see her with someone else? It was an inevitability if they didn't end up together, but just the thought of this made him want to vomit.

He tried to call her again.

"Hello?"

"Maine!"

"Hey, Rj."

"Maine, I miss you so much. Mag-usap tayo please?"

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you, too. Can we meet sa condo? Are you free on Saturday?"

"Yes, yes. What time do you want me to come over?"

"9pm."

He begged his team. "Sam, importante lang. Baka pwede lang ma-move earlier yung appearance ko so I can leave early. Please, paki-gawan naman ng paraan."

The team pulled through and he was knocking on Maine's door at exactly 9pm. Actually, he was already there for more than twenty minutes before he knocked.

"Hi."

"Hello, pasok ka."

"You look great," he complimented. Her hair was pulled up in a messy, high bun with soft tendrils framing her face and she was wearing a short, white dress but was barefoot.

"Hindi na ako nakapag-palit from yung dinner ng barkada." She escorted him to the dining table. "Kumain ka na?"

He shook his head. "Pero okay lang ako, later nalang. Maine, hindi rin ako makakakain sa sobrang kaba. Let's talk na please."

"Rj –" she started, the same time he said, "I'm so sorry. Sorry, Meng. I miss you so much."

"I... Rj, about what happened in Boracay... I know I didn't have the right to demand na you'd stay and spend time with my friends and I was really disappointed and hurt. Hurt because I felt like walang importance sayo yung plans ko," she explained.

"I know, sorry. Hindi naman sa ganun. Important sa kin yung plans mo, plans natin –"

"Let me finish first?" He agreed. "I prepared something for us that night." She explained the dinner plans. "I... I wanted to tell you that night that I wanted us back together."

Rj was dumbfounded. He went from ecstatic to broken in one instant.

"I want us to work, Rj. I'm just not sure how anymore."

Rj wiped the tears that were falling and took out pieces of folded paper from his wallet. "Here."

"Ano 'to?"

"My calendar for the next six months. Yan yung mga shows, rehearsals, endorsement shoots, lahat ng naka-commit na ngayon. I'll block off dates for you, for us. I know it's not much but it's a start, if you'll give it a shot. Sana lang you understand that I started out na walang-wala, Meng, and I don't want to go back to that life so I work this hard. I want to provide a good future for sila Dad and para sa atin."

"Wait. Ano bang balak mo with us?" Maine asked, her eyes searching his.

"You're my end game. I want an us. If you decide na you can't accept me and my life, I'll respect that because hindi naman talaga madali, pero I'll just be here for you. Kung mag-asawa ka and have kids, kahit masakit I'll be a really good ninong to them. Ayoko lang na mawala sa life mo. You're my forever kahit na hindi ako yung piliin mo."

"That's so sweet and so unrealistic." She chuckled. "At some point, you're going to move on and get married."

"Siguro. But now, I can't imagine it with anyone else but you."

"Rj, ang bata natin when we met. How can you say and be sure about all these things?"

He looked at her. "It fits. I doesn't make sense with anyone else."

And she knew, he meant it.

She looked at the paper he handed to her. "Rj, you don't even have dates free for your family. I see... only two family events you'll be attending in this! This is what I worry about, pano kung family mo na, natin, will you be an absentee dad?"

He took her hand. "Look, I can't promise you I won't miss events or celebrations or have to leave early or arrive late for some. What I can promise you is that you will always be my priority, even if I choose work – that would be because I want to provide for you, make you proud of me. Kung sumosobra na ako, please tell me. Talk to me. I'll always listen to you."

"Mahal na mahal kita. Please don't ever doubt that."

"Rj, your work will get affected if we get back together, yung projects mo, yung fans mo – and to be honest, hindi ko kaya yung magtatago ng relationship."

"We'll have to strategize with management, but we can work that out. Yung mga kasama din naming ni Patring sa show have clout in show business and can help us. Please know I have more options now than I used to."

Maine looked at him. "Do you think this will ever be smooth sailing?"

"Probably not. Pero hindi ako susuko."

"Then I'll do this with you."

"What? What do you mean?"

"I'm with you. I want to be with you. Us. Again."

He launched himself from his seat and hugged her tightly. "Wag mo na babawiin, please, baka himatayin ako."

She giggled. "Hindi na. Please just be patient with me okay?"

"Okay. Meng?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

And for the first time in five years, she answered back, "I love you, Rj."

"Meng?"

"Yes?"

"Pwede na ba akong humingi ng kiss?"