C'est La Vie: Once Upon a Time

Talk part5 : rollarcoaster of painful emotions, the unknown

Unedited .
" Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened." - Winston Churchill
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So, this is the truth of what she been hiding. The truth I never came to know.

Once I heard what Emma just confessed me. I just felt in that precise moment in the instant was like if I ridden a rollarcoaster in an amusement park. A surge of painful emotions coming through me. What I felt was a mixer of sadness, anger, guilt, happiness, confusion. I placed a hand on my hair while closed my eyes shaking my head with disbelief. Then stared into her blue eyes with my own brown ones. Her eyes just stared at mine as if she were sorry or emotionless somewhat cold.I was hurt at moment felt I was at any second could be in brick of tears.

Emma just stood there waiting for one of us to break the silence.  A long five - ten minutes passed when we both out of blue were speaking at the same time. I let out a chuckle and so did she. That's when I decided to say, " why did you do it? More like what where you thinking of doing that? Looking towards the ocean waiting what she would say.

I tilted my head to stare at him from the corner from where I am standing to where he's looking at. When without knowing my own voice spoke after a sigh, " I couldn't keep the baby. I ready told you when I just explained. He reminded me of you so much, it was like being torn into thousand of tiny pieces. Then I just thought before the doctor took him away was, I had to give him his best chance someway possible. It just clicked when I decided to give him up, so he can have a real family who loved him. Something, I couldn't do nor was I capable of either. That's when my decision was final in having a closed adoption. Even with giving me a second opportunity to take my decision back and letting me keep him. I just felt inside me, I had to give him his best chance. "

They were surrounded by green trees and pine trees, along with a gloomy cloudy sky day almost gray like, dark brown dry sand and rocks that looked somewhat not cleaned that the blue ocean waves swoosh pulling in and out towards the sea and to surface of the beach against the beige yellow sand.

Emma strolling in front of the beach wearing dark black jeans with black warm coat that had a short neckline with two buttons going down in rows covering her neck for season, black leather gloves along with black leather high boots that didn't come up to her knees but a but below it without heels and her long blonde hair that is parted to the middle loosely framing her round face and her light face complexion.

As for Neal, he was following right behind her slightly angry strides. He tossed back is head a bit as she walked in front. What he was wearing was a dark jeans, leather black shoes, long sleeve black warm coat looking nice for cold day out and in time for winter season, along with a medium length gray with black scarf. Lets not forget his tousy short messy deep brown hair with a few strands of white gray hair.

" Emma, you're letting you emotions get in the way of your judgement." spoke with his deep voice while waving his hands out of his pockets looking at her.

" What do you want to hear, Neal? That it killed me that you never came looking for me even once I was locked up. She snapped to make her point come across looking at him straight at the face. "Em-" Neal spoke stuttering along his words not knowing what to say, and disbelief hearing what Emma is saying out of the blue. Then she cut him off again saying next," That it didn't hurt that you found Tallahassee with someone else." both of them looking at each other.

She was standing to right and he on her left silent, she just gave him a small smile showing a bit sympathy then a thin line cross her lips towards him. Just then, " Oh Emma." Neal said trying to talk to her, but she walks passed him in the direction both of them came from. After she quickly said with kind as possible voice, " I think I should go." looking back at him and then kept walking, she was taking short breathes.

Hearing what was next wasn't what she expected coming from his mouth. She expected it to come from anyone else, just not him. It made her made she utter to a stop, and turn to him facing him when he said, "I wanted to go to jail for you." telling her sincerely with utmost honesty and revealing something to her that he just wanted to say one day if he ever saw her again. But, never imagined that it can come true after so long, not caring all those years that have passed. She looked still the same appearance but stronger somehow and not wearing the glasses.

Emma turned around both standing a few miles away from each other alone each other the beach with no else around, just them. She spoke with a sigh, " Neal-"

" It killed me that I let August talk me into letting you go." spoke while walking against the sand at the beach and near the watery shore and just stood in front of her telling her what he waited to tell her for so long and couldn't until now.

" I don't want to hear it." telling him what she felt and didn't want to hear about the past that they held in the past when she and he met when they were young troublemaker teens.

" No, Okay, but I need to say it." said it with urge like he what to take a burden off his shoulders. He said without thinking twice and confident in his raspy voice that held shame and guilt and sadness in his words her spoke.

He continued while she just heard to what he had to say.

She could tell at that moment just the two of them that he was pouring what his felt years ago and what could she do or say? Apparently nothing, so she let him speak and he was explaining himself something that she never thought of ever hearing him say.

" I wanted to look for you." looking at Emma with words filled with hurt that resurfaced deep inside him thinking of how they once were back then.

" I just..." bowing his head down then looked a brief moment to her after looked towards the waters before saying with shaky voice, "was too afraid." he was scared to look up at her because the pain he cause her, everything when they met.

Not a long period of time, just a few seconds when Emma was silent and heard out what he had to still say. " Of what?" she said thinking wondering, what he can say too possibly justify his actions that he had done back them in their past, the short time they both were together for before the disaster ascended.

"That you would never forgive me, 'cause I can never forgave myself. said with sadness and guilt to express finally what he needed to. When he said that too his wrinkles lines come in view to his forehead, and he kept looking down and then gazed at Em. Emma just looked empathy at him with slight frown smile that formed her small lips.

Neal continued to tell Emma what he desperately needed to express after so many many years.

" There hasn't been a day that's gone by..." Neal expressed to Emma with sincerity that filled with pain in his low voice. "That I don't regret having left you." He stared at her while both were in silence hearing the water crashing against the shore of the beach, waiting for either of them to break the silence and who ends up talking. That's when his eyes looked down then up and spoke with a cough, " I'm Sorry, Emma, For Everything." pain shown in his brown eyes to her beautiful blue orb ones.

Emma gave Neal a sincere tiny smile saying, "Me Too." They both shared looking at one another. The scene that was there, is a big green tree , tan sand and far away hill and clouds that were somehow gray but a bit sunshine up at the sky, plus big ocean of beach with a short wave forming across the water.

Emma turned around and started to walk away from Neal, the one who was the father of his son, her first love. Neal just stood there looking as she walked away further and further. He walked behind her.

Hope you enjoyed reading 😘

What do you think will happen next ? What will lie ahead?

See you until the next journey during the next chappie.