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Ugh why does life have to be so hard all the time?

I was walking towards the coffee shop near my workplace after a hard day at the office (as usual). Man owning your own business is a hassle for a young black woman I swear. Especially when you are living in an another country from your own. From your family, friends, and the life you are used to to chase your dreams gets kinda lonely sometimes you know...

"Well that's the price you pay when you want to be successful in life." my conscious said while drinking my vanilla latte thinking about life taking me in another place from reality.

Shutting my eyes thinking about my pervious life makes me realize this was a right decision to leave my home to come to Japan.

Do not get me wrong, my life before was good. I was blessed with many things like food on my table and a roof over my head but it was not always lollipops and sunshines you know what I mean?

My father was not around, my mother was a hardworking person but had skeletons hiding in her closet. She was arrested for having drugs. My sister was a troublemaker and she ending up pregnant at the age of 18 by a dumb ass nigga (I hardly ever use that word but y'all if you see him you would shake your head like why did she do this to herself). He dropped out of school in the 10th grade (like who does that?!?) and does not have a job so how does he suppose to support a child? Did I mention that he is 3 years younger than her.

Then me and my brother's relationship.....well it is not a good one. He treats my momma and sister more better than me. He is a trouble maker as well but he is currently sent off to repay for his sins he did.

I really did not have many friends back home. I was the quiet friendly girl that had a great attitude throughout school which made me a target for bullying. Until one day someone found out I was taking karate classes for more than 6 years at the time. After that, people looked at me as a "threat". Hell I do not know why cause I was chilled as fuck in school but it is whatever I guess.

After graduating from high school, I went to college four hours away from my house which was the best decision I have ever made in my life. But then drama came before me again with my "sisterhood", lost friends, gain some. Heartbreak came along with that also. First boyfriend in college cheated on me with my so called best friend for 15 years, second guy I liked (actually was developing feelings for him) had a girlfriend. I felt like the old peas people do not touch during Sunday's after church meal and she was the crispy chicken everyone enjoyed. I gave up on love before I found my first first serious boyfriend.

My sophomore year of college I fell in love with a guy the next state from me. He was two years older than I was. He was sweet, funny and different than any other guy I met before. He treated me like a true Queen is supposed to be treated. But then I graduated from college and worked my ass off to get a job position overseas. My lover at the time wanted to come along but I told him do not sacrifice your hard work for me. I proposed that we break up because my heart could not take it if we was still together and was halfway around the world.

After remember how hard life was hard for me I just sighed, "Ugh why does life have to be hard all of the time."

After enjoying my daily dose of coffee, I walked up to the counter to pay for my purchase.

"The total is 479 yen ma'am", the cashier stated.

I payed for the coffee and said goodbye to the store to walk back to my home.

While I was walking in the chilly cold October night, a little girl and a little boy comes running towards me hiding behind my legs. The poor things was scared to of their minds.

Just then a couple of thugs was walking towards me and in my mind I was like "I have to protect these children." So shit is about to go down.