Africa's not for Sissies

Chapter 6: Kittens and Braais

One of the aliens made a sound. It was deep and melodic, but its mouth wasn't moving. The sound formed a word. It sounded like – my name?

I opened one eye. There was someone there. I tried to blink the shape into focus.

"Good morning," sang the voice.

"Annalie?"

"Good morning."

"Morning!" I said. "What time is it?"

"Half past nine."

"Nine-thirty," I said, "It can't be."

I could have sworn I had just closed my eyes, but then I noticed the evidence to the contrary: the puddle of drool on my pillow and the breadcrumb trail of clothing from the door to my bed. It seemed I had fought a losing battle with my left sock. It still dangled from my foot.

"Get up," she said, "we're going to see lions."

The idea of going on a lion safari both thrilled and terrified me, but we weren't going on safari, she brought me to a Lion Park. Upon entry, I immediately noticed the lions were not in cages. I wound my window up tight.

"You can leave your window down," she said.

"Are you crazy?" I gave the handle an extra press, just to be sure.

She chuckled and appeared to be amused. "Really, they never attack people in cars. I don't know why, but they don't. You're perfectly safe so long as you don't get out."

"People get out?"

"You'd be surprised. Last year a Japanese tourist got out to pose for a photo with a lion."

"What happened?" I asked, not sure if I entirely believed her.

"They ate him."

"You're joking?"

"Am I?"

I pushed on the window handle one more time. It was definitely up.

After we completed the loop, we arrived at a fenced-in area where people could get out of their vehicles to play with lion cubs.

"Come!" she said, stepping into the enclosure.

"They're pretty big," I said. And they were. Bigger than house cats, more like the size of an average dog.

"They're harmless."

I wasn't buying that. Wasn't a lion cub basically a lion kitten? I'd been attacked by kittens before and knew they could be dangerous. Kittens were cute, but they had very sharp teeth and claws. These cubs had paws bigger than a large dog's. I didn't want to imagine what their claws were capable of – but I did. I could clearly envision them slicing my arms off and eating them like drumsticks.

"Come!" She sat down on the ground and picked up one of the cubs. It immediately began to nibble and bite her hand, exactly like a kitten would. She laughed and waved to me.

I wondered where the nearest first-aid station was located and if they could reattach swallowed fingers. I hadn't admitted this to Annalie, but animals don't like me. In fact they want me dead. I don't know why exactly, maybe they sense my fear. I've often wondered if there is something about me that triggers the "prey on the weak" instinct in animals.

"Come!" she shouted.

I sucked in my breath. I didn't want to appear frightened in front of Annalie. Was I really afraid of kittens? With hesitant steps, I entered the enclosure and meandered towards her. When I was a few feet away she smiled up at me.