Half Hearted

Epilogue

| Teresa |

Although I'd never really believed in long distance relationships, Ash and I had maintained ours for about half a year through the power of Skype. It was gruesome, and half of our conversations were petty fights, but we eventually managed and fought through it all.

It had taken us both a long time to process the decision he'd made. And part of me still questioned what his future would look like in Canada, but I honestly made no move in trying to stop him from coming. I wanted him with me.

He had ensured me that he had already built up a life in London, and that he was yearning for new adventures. He also ensured me that whatever hardships would rise while we were together, we'd get through it together.

We were already set in stone for each other.

After going through the country policies, he got his acceptance letter from the Canada's Office, causing us both to celebrate that he would be with me sooner rather than later. I helped him in finding a new apartment for himself - since I would stay with Oria until I graduated, which would be another two months - and also in looking around for a suitable job. I actually ended up calling Anna Dolores - from the Halloween party - who made known to me that she was the Vogue director's wife, and so Ash was guaranteed a modelling gig in Toronto. It wasn't the most prestige ranking, but he agreed that it was better than nothing.

While he was mending up some ties back in London - which was mostly with Peter and Maudie - I strived to better myself in class. Although I never really got to have Claire's grades, I did enough to make my family proud. Well, until the final test came around.

Before Ash finally came, I had a talk with my family to let them know what was happening. My parents were alarmed that he was taking such big steps, but they eventually came to accept that they couldn't do anything to affect our decisions. Besides, they didn't have anything against Ash anymore.

It would be a good time now to fill everyone in on how I think my life is going to end up. But I have come to accept that reality often likes to take people by surprise - whether good or bad.

At a point in my life, I used to be so caught up in trying to hide my past. And then I gradually moved on to trying to perfect my future. I used to miss out on so many moments by simply looking forward to the next day, or the next big event. But I realized that I lost too much time doing that.

I lost too much time trying to be happy, that I didn't even realize I wasn't happy anymore.

Everyone has made mistakes. Everyone is making mistakes. And everyone will make mistakes in the future. It's guaranteed that I will eventually come to a new low at some point in my life.

And although life doesn't have a way of guaranteeing that I will be with Ash forever; that I'll keep my friends and family with me until the end of time, I know that my best move is to accept what comes and goes - no matter the pain.

Because, as my favourite quote goes, "before Alice got to Wonderland

she had to fall."