Half Hearted

Chapter Fourty Six

| Teresa |

I didn't know where he was taking me, but I knew it was somewhere abandoned.

After we were dropped off at the 'park and ride,' he drove us somewhere. Somewhere far from the city, and in a town that seemed to hold a population of five, and then some tumbleweeds. 

There wasn't that much around us. The only buildings were a motel, a bunch of storages, and a run-down bar. It seemed like such a western setting from the old ages.

"Why are we here?" I asked as we got out of the car. The sound of rocks crunched beneath my boots as I followed after him.

"I already told you why," was his only reply. I rolled my eyes, watching him head towards the old building.

I headed inside, squinting at the motel. Well, the supposed motel.

Inside was a ring, but not the ones people used to propose. It was a boxing ring, complete with metal fencing from the ground up, and a lock on the single door. Awed, I let my fingers glide over the cold fencing. "Why is this here? I thought this was a motel."

"It was," he stated, appearing in front of me with a key in his hand. Swiftly he unlocked the metal door and walked in, gesturing with his hands that I was to follow him in. Of course, I did, and I looked at the floor.

There was dried up blood everywhere. Some were small droplets, but some looked like heavy splashes that were most likely spread out by a cloth.

Ash must've noticed where I was gazing. He sat down on the floor and pointed to a spot. "Three years ago - Kevin Waterton."

He then pointed to another, "last year - Mace Williams."

"What?" I asked, confused but slowly putting the pieces together.

"This is what I do," he stated blankly. "I model, I get interviewed, but this is the highlight of my life."

Due to my silence, he continued speaking. "I fight, Teresa."

"But people box all the time," I tried.

"I don't box, I fight." He stood up and walked closer to me, all the while keeping the gaze in tact. "You need to understand that I have connections in my life that I can't cut off. There are people out there that hate my guts because I've beat them to a pulp. There are people out there that bet big money to make sure I lose my streak."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, unable to move. Part of it was because of what I was hearing; the other part was because we were in such close proximity. Faces five inches away from each other.

"And the minute they find out that I've got someone close to me, they'll do anything to use that as a weapon. You have to understand."

I nodded slowly, careful not to make myself any closer to him than I already was. "I understand."

Our breaths were becoming mixed as his gaze lowered to my lips. My hands navigated themselves toward his shoulders. And in a short span of time, his rough hands were around my neck, my toes tipping forward to give me height. Ash lowered himself, and then it happened. Our lips met, and my eyes softly closed in response.

He tasted like winter and thrill and security and everything I wanted.

We pulled back in unison, and I returned on my heels. I felt the blood rushing to my face as I looked down, dropping my hands from his shoulders.

"Fuck," he swore under his breath. "This wasn't how it was supposed to go."

I lifted my gaze again. "Then how was it supposed to go?"

"You were supposed to be scared, ask to be driven back. And then never come in contact with me again."

I shook my head, unable to admit that I was, in fact, scared. "That didn't do anything."

He grinned, shaking his head. "You're not good at lying."

He was right. And I hated that he was right. I needed to play everything off, as if this didn't change anything. Of course, it did, and I had gained a new sense of fear.

I feared for his life.

"You're not good at rationalizing the worth of your life," I shot back. He turned around, placing his hands on the fence.

"Believe me when I say this," he started. "But I had nothing to rationalize back then."

"Your career," I suggested, slowly walking towards him. Then, I laid a hand on his back. He tensed up, but slowly relaxed afterwards. "Your friends?"

"Come on. The only thing I could do was to stand in front of a camera and look good. And my friends?" Ash scowled, reminiscing his past. "All they did was drink themselves to death every night. I, at least, had some dignity left. They were all just idiots."

Hugging him from behind, I spoke in an effort to soothe him, "but now?"

"Now?" He hushed, needing a moment to pause before speaking again. "Now it's... different."

He turned around, still in my arms, and wrapped his arms around me. Then he laid his chin on my head - which I can't lie, was slightly uncomfortable. "But it's not different enough to change things."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I have to fight."

"No you don't. You have dignity right now, don't you?"

"Teresa," he warned, pulling back and forcing me to stare at him. "Don't try to change this."

"I'm not trying to change anything," I lied sheepishly. "I just... You're bound to get hurt if you don't stop."

He opened his mouth to speak but shut it afterwards. I pressed on, wanting him to tell me that he wouldn't endanger his safety anymore. "Please tell me you're going to keep yourself safe."

There was a pained look in his eyes, which oddly became contagious. "I've got a fight next week."

My heart sunk, and I pressed my lips in such a thin line Kylie Jenner would disapprove. Ash exited the ring, and I followed after him. He then locked the metal door and put the key back in the cup.

We got in the car in silence and left the 'motel.' Ash drove while I thought about the next few days in Canada.

We would still be in winter break, so I wouldn't miss any lectures. The only thing would be that I wouldn't be there at home for Christmas Eve. I mean, it wasn't like I'd always be there forever.

Suddenly, thoughts ran about in my head, and I was in a state of irrationality.

We were at a stop light when I chose to blurt out my idea. "Hey Ash?"

"Mhm?"

"Let me stay here for another week."