What They Don't See (PJM)

1.1

Sometimes I really don't get myself. Often, I wonder why I didn't do the most reasonable thing and seeked for help. Especially with my increasing hatred towards my parents. The thing is, I'm perfectly dumb and naive.

Despite the drugs, the alcohol and the violence, a little part of me still believed in miracles. Flashbacks from when we were happy and trouble free somehow made their way into my head in moments I wanted to give up everything. I remembered the good times and the longing to let everything crumble down to nothing disappeared. I was callow hoping that someday my parents would wake up and see the consequences of their shameless behavior and start acting like two grownups with kids who needed nuisance. I hoped and prayed for that scenario everyday, why I didn't' do the sensible and ran away.

Brushing my fingers through Minhyuk's messy hair I stared into the television in front of us. Per reflect the corner of my lips tugged up by seeing the cocky cat Tom gored in the butt by a heroic musketeer mouse. My gaze flickered downwards as I hoped to see a similar reaction from Minhyuk. There was none. Instead, the sweet little boy was sleeping peacefully in my arms. I smiled and placed a soft kiss on top of his head caressing the area with my palm afterwards.

Yes, I sincerely hoped my parents would wake up from their euphoric rush of idiocy and see the beautiful son who needed them. If not I wasn't so sure on how to save this sinking ship.

I waited until the cartoon was finished before tucking Minhyuk to bed. He was a heavy sleeper, paralyzed through the entire process. With my hand wrapped around the doorknob as I was about to close the door behind I observed his sleeping figure one last time.

This boy had so much potential. He wasn't stupid. He didn't have learning disorders. He was just deceived and forsaked. How did they expect a boy his age to evolve into something beautiful when his parents had given up on the task years ago? How was it possible for a girl like me to keep believing that everything would turn out just fine?

My patience must've crossed the infinity line years ago because I wouldn't give up.

I sighed with a vague smile on my face carefully closing the door behind me. I wouldn't make all the effort go to waste. No, I had to keep on fighting. Fighting for the good life I hoped that someday would shine upon us.

There was no sound whatsoever in our otherwise small apartment. It awoke my curiosity as my feet brought me closer to the living room you could always find my parents in the act of stupid selfish acts. Now was no exception.

Peeking through the chink of the door I tried to take in the view which was extremely hidden by clouds of grey smoke and steam. I heard laughter and my ears perked up.

Through small gaps in the smoke I saw my father grinning of something. He was obviously high.

I huffed silently making my way into the concealed space of my own four walls. Far away from the sad existence I just watched through a tiny crack. Everyday I swore to God that I would never end up like that. I would never make myself sink that low and become one who exploits the society such lame ways. One day I would get myself a decent job, earn my own money and live my life peacefully. Far away from criminality and cruelty.

I would prove them all. I was not a daughter of a helpless set of parents. I was my own. I would form my own future.

Motivational scenarios ran through my mind as the last thing before I fell asleep and a couple of them included a certain brown haired guy.

~~

Monday. The reason Sunday suck, the reason for your bad mood and the day you hate with an extreme prejudice. As soon as I passed the threshold to the class it didn't take two seconds for me to acknowledge the fact that I just should've stayed home underneath my fluffy sheets. It had been a tiresome weekend full of homework and drama. My mother managed to stay away for two days straight and when she finally came back home hell was let loose. My father was right in her face screaming and yelling various words I wasn't supposed to hear due to my young age. And they didn't even bother to go outside. It wasn't like the walls were soundproof in any way. I heard everything. Also when my father apparently threw warm coffee at her. It wasn't pretty for my ears and the coffee stains on the kitchen walls were far from removable.