Confessions of Jane

Confession #11: I useto selfharm

**Hey party people!!

Today I had to go back and read through all the chapters I wrote so far cause I'm so forgetful about what I even wrote 😂 can any of you other writers relate??

I'm trying to update often but I want to make sure my chapters are smooth and well thought out and not just boring and meaningless if you get what I mean!

So I hope you all enjoy this chapter!! ****

*one year ago*

"Jane Doe why do you need these drugs?" Justin asked me.

It was Friday after school and we were at our usual spot. I had a rough night last night and ended up cutting my wrists three times on each arm.

I came home from school on Thursday and found my mom making out with some strange man I have never seen before. I ended up yelling at her because she told me he was moving in the next day. She told me I was a selfish bitch and needed to be nice to him. I called her some mean names and stormed off to my room. I was so upset and on top of all that I was failing algebra. I got a D on my mid term test and if I didn't get an A on the final I would have to retake it. Things were hard at home. My mom was hardly ever there and I was a mess. I learned that I also gained 2 pounds from stress eating dairy free ice cream. My life was a mess so I craved a release and decided cutting was my best resort.

I hid my fresh cuts with a long sleeve shirt that day even though it was 85 degrees out.

"Justin that's for me to know and you to never find out" I said with a smirk and grabbing the drugs from him.

Justin followed me back to my house and we both climbed in my room from the window.

I hid the drugs in my bedside drawer and started changing while Justin lounged on one of my chairs by my computer desk.

Justin walked up to me and started kissing me once I took my shirt off. He grabbed my wrists and I winced in pain from the fresh cuts. Justin immediately grabbed my arms and saw bandages covering the cuts.

"Jane what the hell did you do?!" Justin asked angrily.

He has no right to accuse me and get angry. He knows nothing.

"It's nothing Justin I just got mosquito bites and was itching them and it bled so I put band aids on that's all" I said annoyed.

"Bullshit" Justin said. He slowly removed the bandages and saw my cuts.

Justin had a very sad look in his eyes and I didn't know what to do or say so I just walked away and pulled on a big tshirt.

"Justin just go home don't worry it's nothing really" I said.

"That's not nothing Jane. You need help. That's so unlike you. You're better than that." Justin said with a frown.

"I'll be fine" I said kissing Justin and leading him to the window.

"Just go I need to sleep and study. I'll see you Monday" I said pushing him out and falling on my bed to sleep.

I woke up around 3am and could not go back to sleep. I tried counting sheep, doing homework and even watching the weather channel but nothing worked.

I remembered about the drugs Justin gave me and quickly grabbed them and took 3 sleeping pills. I fell into a deep sleep shortly after and didn't wake up until 1pm.

I was woken up by an angry Justin complaining that he thought I was dead.

*present day*

I woke up to some unread messages from Justin saying he was worried about me and blah blah blah.

I'm a lot better person now than I was a year ago when Justin found out I was cutting. I really haven't cut in about 5 months. He just doesn't trust me.

Nobody trusts me. Or gets me. Ugh my life sucks.

***End Scene***

Sorry for the awful update but I'm just having like writers block or something and just wanted to post something! So here y'all go!!

Bye!!!!