Stereotypical

XXVI | They, Who Crossed the Boundaries

Mood:

"Suicide"

- James Arthur

I was listening to it while I wrote this and thought 'aye, it's whatever'. Not all the songs have to relate to the writing, right? And if there's gonna be a reason for it to be this song; Parker and Carson ever crossing the line of friendship and stuffs would be suicide to themselves. (apologies to some in advance)

"Just admit it - you're a sucker for pick up lines, Carson." Parker waggled a finger in my face.

I scowled. "I hope someone runs over you with a monster truck."

"I'll live," Parker said, and I rolled my eyes.

"The thing is," Chase finished off his can of soda, "you wouldn't. And if you sit there long enough, you might become a flatsicle."

I laughed, setting my own can down. It hurt. "A Parksicle."

"Dumbsicle."

"Pervsicle."

"Ow?" Parker clutched his chest. "I'm right here."

"You brought it upon yourself," Chase told him. "Suffer the consequences."

We were lounging on different pieces of furniture, each sipping from separate cans of Dr. Pepper. I didn't entirely like soda because of the effects it had on me, but nothing in the world could have made me give a shit anymore.

I didn't care.

A lamp was on for back light, but otherwise we were in the dark. I kicked my legs up and exhaled. My chest was tight, like I was on the verge of another breakdown. It was an irritating feeling that sent me into further chaos when I bent too far. It became worse when I tried to pretend that I wasn't a heartbeat away from locking myself in a dark room and screeching.

"So are you actually spending the night?" Parker asked.

"Oh no," Chase began sarcastically.

Parker cut him off, waving his hands animatedly in the air. "Sorry I asked! Just - no more sarcasm. You two have buckets of it. Damn."

I chuckled.

Sometimes, I imagined a better me. This Carson wasn't so cold and mean. She was what Jackson had been; kind and considerate even when his world was crashing down. She wasn't so sickly looking - full of life instead of pale and slight. She didn't selfishly abandon her friends. She didn't run away, and didn't even consider relying on herself in a lonely household.

It was too late to even try to be that Carson, but I still caught flashes of what that life would be like.

I wasn't sure if I'd like it or not.

"Carson!"

I jumped. "What?"

"I'd like it if you didn't fade out of existence, please," Parker said.

I lowered myself back down. "Oh. Yeah."

With a grunt, Chase pushed himself up. "I'm going to bed. Good night.

"What? Already?"

"It's almost midnight, Parker," Chase said. "You two had better be in bed before Mom and Dad get back."

Parker stood up. "I'll show you -"

Chase waved his hand dismissively. "I've got it."

"How?" he asked.