When We Spirits Awaken

Chapter 11: The Girl Made of Light

I walked out of my bathroom, tying my wet hair into a braid as I made my way out to the balcony. The chilled breeze nipped at my face and made the hair on the back of my neck stand. Instead of retreating from the cold I embraced it, inhaling the frozen air and letting it fill my lungs. Then, as quickly as it came, the breeze faded back into the warmth of the expected, late-spring winds. 

I sat back on my balcony chair, curling my knees to my chest as I leaned my head back. Today had been another long session of training; my body protested when I tried to leave the shower, its muscles still craving the heat of the hot water to sooth their aches and pains. I heard my cell ring from the back pocket of my lounge pants and, though the idea to move any part of my body now seemed tiring, I reached for it and touched the screen to answer without reading the number. Expecting that only Kara or Ayden would call me this late at night I found a friendly hello would be less fitting for such a call.

"You better have an emergency to be calling me this late," I said jokingly.

"Lillyana?"

Dang it. "Kaleb? I'm sorry! I thought it was--"

"Ayden? Yeh, I know, he's the one who told me you'd still be up," he said mechanically.

"Why would he tell you that?" I asked, confused.

"I asked him."

My eyebrows knit together. He asked about me?

I heard Kaleb clear his throat, filling the space of the awkward silence. "I forgot to ask on Friday if I should bring anything for next weekend."

I suppressed a sigh, his tone reminding me of  when I last saw him. "Only if you think of anything, we'll brainstorm some ideas."

"Yeh, it's best we just get it over with." That one stung a little.

"Right," I gulped.

He hung up.

I straightened up in my seat and put my phone down on my lap. Just when I pulled my hand away, it rang a second time.

"Hello?"

I heard breathing on the other line, but no voice.

I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the caller ID. "Kaleb?"

Just breathing again.

"Are you o--"

This time he cut me off. "Sorry, I dialled the wrong number." He hung up again.

I wasn't stupid; I knew he intended to call back, if he hadn't he would have hung up the second he heard my voice. Why would he--

Distraction; I needed a distraction. I needed to remember that Kaleb shouldn't matter.

I lifted my hand and focused. As I moved my fingers, various lights of blue, green and pinks twirled at my command.

At first I just created swirls of colours and would let them go, forming little luminous orbs no bigger then a coin. I watched them float, dancing toward the night sky as their lights flickered and faded in the dark. Soon, instead of letting the swirls go, I kept them in control and created a figure.

I gazed upon this creation, analyzing and controlling every move of the girl made of light. About the same size as my hand, I had her dance over and step in my palm and held the other hand over her head, making her twirl. The lights of her dress blended together to make new colours as she turned, her hair spinning out around her face and, though silent, her face looked as though she would laugh.

"That's quite impressive," Emily said as she walked out onto the balcony.

I continued to make the light girl dance. "How long were you in my room before coming out here?"

"First phone call," she admitted sheepishly.

I smiled at her and laughed a little. "Figured."

"I know you regret pushing him away. Why do you keep letting him think that's how you want things to be?"

"It how things need to be, Em."

"I know you think that, but not everyone you love will disappear. We all lose people, it's inevitable, and we will continue to for different reasons as life goes on," she came and sat on the arm of my chair and put her hand my shoulder, "But pushing them away doesn't save you from that hurt. It's easier to live knowing you've had them in your life, then it is to wonder how it would have been."

I lifted my hand higher and quit controlling the lights in my hand, watching the girl float and fade just as the orbs had before.

"If things were normal, maybe it could be different, but things aren't; I'm not normal. Besides, my plan worked like a charm; he can't stand me." 

"You aren't happy about that." She did not word it as a question.

I didn't say anything. I wanted to drop it, she knew it. If I didn't speak, what could she say? 

Emily stood and looked up at the stars. "You know that spell you were using?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"The lights create what we want. What we want is often a soul's desire."

 "Where are you going with this, Em?" I asked, sighing impatiently.

She shook her head and walked back inside. "That girl made of light was happy," she turned her head to meet my gaze again, "and she looked a lot like you."