R & D : A Companion Work to Hello, Richard.

Out Early

Hello, Richard : Chapter 77
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Maine

I kiss his chin and bite my teeth very lightly on it. This earns a gasp from him and so, I make a path of feathery kisses along his right jaw to turn him on even more.

My mouth open by just a little, and my lower lip brushes the skin leading up to his earlobe. I feel his stubble as I do this so I breathe in a slow, exaggerated gasp and breathe out a small moan right into his ear.

"Hnnghh, come here you sexy thing.", He tells me as he pulls my arms toward him and urge me to move up to him and straddle him. I do.

He kisses me in my neck and I feel a jolt of electricity when his tongue leaves a wet streak all the way to the nape. "Oh, yes... God! You really know how to make me weak, Richard.", I whisper to him.

At this, he pulls away and looks me incredulously. He asks me with an obvious panic in his voice, "Richard?.... Who are you talking about? ... Who are you?!"

My eyes fly open and I wake up with a startle.
"This whole thing is catching up with me.", I sigh.

How does the saying go again? "Punishment follows guilt closely as its companion." Is this my punishment, then?

It's just a dream, just a dream.
Well, a really damn hot
and downright creepy one.

I look at the window and a warm light seeps at the edges of the window curtains. I wonder what time it is and that's when I remember I have a job to do.

Crap.

Speaking of job, I remember how painful last night was and my heart thumps wildly in my chest.

Painful? More like excruciating.

I suddenly feel so embarrassed and so guilty at how Dei so easily dismissed Richard's feelings. Even more horrible is when I realized that I started this mess.

This whole goddamn mess.

"If he was lonely before. He just may be miserable right now, thanks to me.", I say to myself. And I feel as though my heart is crushed.

A terrible guilt washes over me and my shoulders slump with definite weight. It's true that the cruelest thing is to awaken someone's love without the intention of loving them.

Shit. What have I done?

I close my eyes and try to recall how Alden was before. He was a totally different person. He's this big-time, critically-acclaimed actor: well-respected, deeply-admired both by co-actors and his legion of fans, and filthy rich.
But he was very, very sad. He wouldn't even smile off-camera. "What a waste of dimples.", I remember telling myself.

During interviews, he would answer questions with one sentence. It was frustrating to watch! Even with his insanely good looks, he couldn't charm a fly with his awful, stubborn, and negative aura. He would avoid mingling by any means possible, and if ever he most absolutely needed to, he would go to events without bothering to bring a date - whether it's a love interest or family. He went alone.