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11. Hoseok

He cheated.
He really cheated.
He cheated on me.

The words of the boy you loved to death still lingered inside your head.

''I have to say something and I understand if you don't want to go on with me after this.''

You were thinking back at what happened when he told you this, tears streaming down your face.

''What is it Hobi? I don't think I'd leave you because I love you, so tell me''

You were broken, broken by the words of your boyfriend of almost 6 years.

''I.. I cheated Y/N.. I cheated on you..''

That was it, tears streaming down your angered and hurt face.

Thinking back about that made you throw your coffee cup against the wall screaming.

''You.. you cheated on me?''

''Yes.. I did.. it wasn't my intention but I know I did wrong and that you didn't expect it.. which makes both of us.. but I did cheat and I deserve to be hated''

You couldn't think straight anymore, sight blurred by tears.
You remembered what he said after it, him also in tears.

''I'm sorry''

You didn't want to think about him or anything anymore, you were done with all of shit going on. You didn't want to feel anything anymore. You picked up the half poured over the floor bottle of whiskey and took a sip.

''You say you're sorry but you don't mean it. If you meant it you wouldn't cheat in the first place.''
''Y/N, I know I did something wrong but you never left my mind, even whe-''
''Even when you were fucking her.. is that what you wanted to say?''
''Yes.. yes that's it..''

You drowned the alcohol down your throat, feeling it burn you slightly smiled.
He cheated and even thought about me when he did it.

You wanted to go and tell him what you thought about all of it, because when he told you everything all you could say was

''I think I have to leave for a moment..''

You said a moment but the both of you knew you weren't coming back.
Would he still be there in that house?
Throwing the now empty bottle of whiskey away you put on your shoes and grabbed your car keys. Driving emotionless and not caring about the traffic you still reached it to the house where it all happened. The first date, the first time saying I love you, the first time making love.. the first time cheating. Was it even the first time? It had to be.

You stepped out of the car, still emotionless.

Walking inside the house of which the door wasn't locked. But you could care less.

Walking into the room where laid empty bottles, it felt as if you walked into your house.. and there you saw him.

He just laid there curled up in a ball not moving an inch. You walked over to him and touched him, he didn't even budge a bit. After a lot of swear words at him and pushes to get him to move you realized it didn't help anything.. he was gone.

''Even if I cheated.. I will always love you''

You looked down at his motionless body and you felt yourself slowly becoming sober.

He's.. he's really gone..

Were you sad? Yes you were. At the other side, he did it himself, he took that overdose out of self-pity.. not because he missed me.

Thinking that you walked out of his house, stepped in your car and drove away.

''Goodbye Hoseok..''