It Started With A Kiss (A Kisame Story)

Chapter 14.

Kisame had always been independent.

Whether it had been learning stuff as he grew up, rising up the ranks as a ninja as he did missions or acting on his own after he left Kirigakure and joined the Akatsuki, Kisame had done it on his own. He was fine with dealing with his own problems and didn’t have to be dependent on anyone else in order to do something. He might follow Itachi's orders and accept his opinion without question, but he understood Itachi was stronger than him; when it came down to his life and the decisions he made to do with it, he didn’t need anyone there for him. After an entire lifetime of solving his own problems, things weren’t about to change. It’s not like he’d been turning to any of the Akatsuki for advice or anything, anyway—they weren’t exactly the ‘agony aunt’ type. He didn’t need them, anyway; he was fine with being by himself.

But suddenly he felt more isolated than he’d done in a long time.

There were always going to be things that kept him distanced from most people, and Kisame had acknowledged that; he knew it was true, and therefore it no longer bothered him. But as he watched Umi walk out, not bothering to wait for him and talk in the meantime...a feeling of loneliness washed over him, and he couldn’t get rid of it. He tried convincing himself otherwise; telling himself that he wasn’t lonely; he worked with Itachi on missions constantly, he was in a group of eight other people and was living with the majority of them right now. Umi might have gone off to do some training, but she hadn’t left him—he hadn’t been abandoned in anyway, and it wasn’t as if he wouldn’t be able to deal with it if he was. And yet still that feeling of being alone stuck with him as he finished his food and headed outside to catch up with Umi. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as he was making it out to be. Maybe she was just worried and had needed some time alone—though he knew those thoughts were useless as he finally arrived at the clearing.

She was training, like she’d said she would be, going from technique to technique and honing not only the basics she had never known before this, but her overall power in general. Her eyes flicked to Kisame as he appeared through the trees, but she soon returned to the training, not saying a word in greeting. Kisame allowed her to remain like that; letting her be in her own thoughts for a while as he attempted to untangle his own. There was only one point that Kisame spoke up, pointing out that she should use targets for this part of her ability; it included chakra control, and by having a target, she could see just how much control she had over it and develop it even more. Giving a small smile as he suggested it, Kisame turned to look at Umi; and it instantly fell off. She merely nodded in acceptance, her face void of emotion, her voice toneless as she thanked him and delved straight back into her training. Kisame knew right then and there he wasn’t about to get anything out of there, and walked to the side of the clearing to sit against a tree and take care of Samehada, gathering she didn’t want him there. Umi could only glance over and force the guilt she felt down; it would make things easier in the end—even if it was hurting him now, her eyes passing over his melancholy expression.

If only he knew...

Eventually even Umi had to admit she was too tired to do anymore training, and finally came to a halt in the middle of the clearing, Kisame finally looking up from his stupor. He blinked in surprise as Umi walked over to him, a flame of hope igniting within him at the idea that she was okay with him again; that she’d start talking and they could hang out just like they had before, only becoming stronger as she spoke about what she wanted to learn. Though it all came to nothing a moment later. Umi simply stated she was done with training, and that she’d been wondering about the ninja villages. The kinds of rules they had; the defences around them and the histories they carried with them. It wasn’t necessarily all the ninjas she wanted to know about; just the general history. A lot of things had happened in the world, and she wanted to know about them—and as she said that’s what she wanted to learn about, Umi took a seat in front of him and waited for him to speak. No other words came from her mouth as she did so, simply expecting him to talk.

For a moment Kisame felt like saying no; just standing up, grabbing Samehada and walking off. That she’d been stand-offish with him all day, pushing past him when he came to her room and brushing him off at breakfast. Just ignoring him and leaving the hideout on her own, stating what she was going to be doing and expecting him to turn up and watch her without wondering whether he’d like for Umi to wait for him to join her. Just blanking him entirely as she went on training, barely even grateful when he suggested something to help her—then coming over like she had, Umi was sitting there expecting him to begin talking about what she wanted. About what she wanted to learn, and assumed that he would stand up right away and talk about it, when she wasn’t about to do anything in return. Kisame felt like doing all of that, his feelings building up in a ball inside of him—but when he looked back at Umi, he couldn’t do it. He knew how much she’d been through, and that he had agreed to help her learn about the world. It was his feelings affecting all of this, and not hers; so he couldn’t let it get in the way. As such, he nodded slowly, standing and beginning to speak; his voice softer and not as enthusiastic as it was normally.

The rest of the day passed in much the same way.

He was basically giving a speech; talking at Umi instead of with her—but she seemed to want it that way, never looking as if she was bored with what he was talking about. There’s was no chatting as he went on, however; she asked no questions like she had always done with whatever topic he had talked about before, instead accepting his words and letting him continue in one big lecture. Eventually Kisame thought to stop, realising it was lunch time, and hesitating as he glanced over at Umi, he finally mustered the courage to ask her if she wanted to get something to eat considering the time. But just like always, it didn’t work; Umi merely shrugged, stating she ‘wasn’t that hungry’, stating she was fine with him getting something to eat while she grabbed a snack and disappeared off again to do some more training.

By this point, Kisame was wondering whether to follow—it seemed like she didn’t want him there, after all; with her abilities it was going to be hard to defeat her, and if there was nothing he could do, was there any point in staying? That way he might be able to do something with his day that would be more fun than how it was at the moment—or at least more productive. He simply sat and ate his food, barely feeling like eating but forcing himself to anyway. No one could get through to him as he did so; he was too far into his thoughts. But what was he supposed to do? Everything he tried Umi simply pushed him away and acted like it was nothing. Every time Kisame made the effort, it didn’t seem to make an ounce of difference. But he couldn’t understand. Yesterday she had been fine; they had spent all day talking and hanging out with each other; they’d had that conversation by the lake, and if anything, he’d felt closer to her at that moment than he’d ever done before. Only now Umi was the opposite; isolated and distanced from everything around her—even Itachi wasn’t that bad.

Had he done something wrong? Had he said something at some point; or had someone tried to make it seem like he’d said something, and Umi had believed them? Was there something she had found out that had changed everything dramatically, and that’s why she was getting so apathetic towards the whole situation? Or did she not even like him? Had Umi just been placing him all along, being friendly and hanging out with him like she had because, as she was staying in the Akatsuki, as she had had visions of him in the first place, she felt obliged to? The idea wasn’t one Kisame liked to entertain in his head, but it kept on coming back. He’d said from the start he felt a deep connection between the two of them, yes; and that it had gotten stronger the more they hung out.

But what if it was only a one way thing?

What if the connection was fading for Umi, now that she was truly becoming human? That if she fully dropped her heritage and where she had lived...then she wouldn’t feel that connection at all anymore? It wouldn’t be the same with him; it was stronger than ever—there was no way he’d be able to lose this connection. Though...would it be better if itdid fade? At least then he wouldn’t have to feel like this.

At least then it wouldn’t be such a blow when Umi spoke to him the next morning.

Because now he wouldn’t even be able to try and get her to talk to him.