It Started With A Kiss (A Kisame Story)

Chapter 17.

“Shut up, Itachi; you don’t know anything about my situation—about what’s going on in my head. There’s so much I have to think about, and I’m not going to let you sit there and judge me!”

Pushing past Itachi, she headed out into his bedroom, but Itachi swiftly pursued her, grabbing onto her arm and turning her round to face him. Knowing there was no point storming out and running away, as Itachi would only persist, Umi allowed him to do so, forcing herself to face him as she added before he could say anything else,

“Do you know how long I dreamt about becoming human—about finally being able to live on land? I thought it would give me everything I wanted; and it has. But I have no idea how to remain this way. Then I’m just going to lose it all. It’s worse now because I know what it’s like; it’s merely the same with Kisame.”

With those words, however, the anger disappeared, and Umi's head dropped as it all came back to her, remembering how horrible she had felt—and still felt. Itachi himself wasn’t angry at her; after all, he could tell how much Umi cared about Kisame, and how much Kisame cared about her in return. When there was so much uncertainty in her life, it was hard for her to figure out what to do. She had come to love  a world that she was scared would fade away from her in only a few days time, and Itachi knew exactly why she had done so—he could understand why in the first place. But he didn’t want the both of them to continue like they were; it would only make things worse, and neither of them would be able to fully recover from it. For a moment Itachi hesitated as he saw the look on Umi's face, but finally replied gently,

“I know how you feel, Umi. You don’t think you’re ever going to figure out how to keep yourself human, and you think if you go on like you had at the start, then you would only be even more hurt than you are feeling now. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Kisame might hold the answer to you staying human. If there’s a chance of you figuring it out, wouldn’t you rather fight for it as much as possible instead of resigning yourself to the fact and simply waiting for it to disappear? Wouldn’t it be better to live your life in the moment, instead of spending it worrying and feeling upset all the time? Only by allowing yourself to accept the happiness you have found here will you be able to do anything about it.”

Automatically Umi was brought to a halt, unable to do anything but stare back at Itachi in shock and confusion. She’d never thought about it in that sense. She had thought that by doing all of this—distancing herself from the Akatsuki and Kisame himself—that she would be protecting herself, and it would make the transformation easier to deal with. That she wouldn’t have to get hurt, and neither would Kisame. But now that Itachi had said that...Umi couldn’t help but consider it. She had said she had always dreamed of becoming human and being able to live on the land; but now she was, she was simply wasting it by walking around moaning about how she wasn’t going to be human much longer. Instead of enjoying what she had in front of her, Umi was focusing on what would be happening—concentrating too much on the future. Maybe if she just paid attention to what was going on around her in the present time, the future wouldn’t seem so difficult to understand and accept. She wasn’t sure, though, as it would get her closer to Kisame, and when it all turned back to nothing, that loss would be greater.

Umi looked down, still silent as she remained deep in thought. Itachi's words were bringing up so much turmoil in her head, and she wasn’t sure where to turn. Even if she did take Itachi's advice and forget about her current plan...would she be able to handle it? It would be a big change to go back to being a mermaid again after all she had learnt—would she be able to handle the loss of not only living in this world...but of Kisame as well?

But sensing her hesitation, Itachi laid a hand on her shoulder and added,

“You keep saying it as if you don’t have a choice in the matter, Umi; but you do. You can choose how you view this time with us.

The moment the word ‘choice’ came out of Itachi's mouth, and suddenly Umi was transported back to the lake, when she and Kisame had had that conversation. After all the things Umi had been told to do over the past couple of days, he had stood there and asked if she truly wanted to be human, and that he would allow her to return as a mermaid if she wanted. If that was her choice. Several times Kisame had stated firmly that he was merely offering, and that it was her decision as to what she would do—that she always had a choice, regardless of whether the Akatsuki or the rest of the world wanted it. In Kisame's eyes, Umi always had the right to pick what she wanted to do; and Itachi was only repeating this sentiment.

Memories of Umi and Kisame hanging out together then flashed through her mind, reminding her of all the fun they had had and how much they had gotten to know each other. He was so easy-going, he had made the transition from one world to another seem less of a huge hurdle and more of a fun ride, constantly repeating that none of them saw her any weaker or stupider because there was so much she didn’t understand; and that she didn’t have to feel overwhelmed. Kisame had allowed her to do things at her own pace and in her own time, learning the things she wanted to learn first, and talking with her in a discussion, so it didn’t feel as if she was in a classroom and had to remember all these different facts. Right from the beginning Kisame had fully accepted Umi for who she was—forwhat she was—and her power had never influenced that fact.

He had always given her a choice.

Losing it all was going to hurt; Umi knew that. But the more she thought about it, the more she realised that if that was the case, she would rather she spent those days enjoying the life she had on shore instead of making herself upset about it and dragging Kisame into the fray as well. Because, when it came down to it, that’s what she had done. Umi knew why she had done all this in order to stop herself from hurting so much...but Kisame hadn’t had a clue. From his perspective, Umi had just pushed him away and started hanging out with the rest of the Akatsuki without a word as to how Kisame was or what he was doing. She’d known it was affecting him; but it was only after Itachi's words that she truly knew how much—and it what kind of way. Saying those things to Kisame hadn’t been easy for Umi, and therefore it must have been amplified having to be the one to hear them. Umi frowned at her own behaviour; her cowardice, and instantly felt guilty for all that she had done. With what Kisame had done for her...how had she repaid him? With selfishness and disregard for anyone around her.

But it wasn’t about to be that way anymore.

Itachi was right, and Umi had let this go on for way too long—there weren’t many days left before she really wouldchange into a mermaid. She had to change things round while she still could, and before Kisame had to leave, and finally managed to meet Itachi's gaze once more with this thought. He instantly smirked at the look in her eye, seeing the look on her face as she looked up at him and sensing she knew what to do. This theory was only proven as she finally responded to Itachi's earlier comment quietly,

“You’re right; I do have a choice in all of this. And I’m going to make the right one this time. Thank you, Itachi.”

With that, Umi turned and headed straight out the door. She didn’t know where Kisame was, or where exactly she would find him, but it didn’t matter. Umi needed to find him, and she needed to find him now. Time was of the essence here, after all ,and she didn’t want to waste it by waiting until morning to talk to Kisame. There were things she had to tell him, and it would be better off if he heard them straight away; when they were still fresh in her mind and her feelings still running through her veins. Umi wasn’t about to back down now.

She had to make this right again.