It Started With A Kiss (A Kisame Story)

Chapter 21.

Kisame hadn’t had much luck sleeping either.

He’d spent the first part of the night staying up, trying to work out the answer to Umi's problem. He wanted her to change into a mermaid as much as she did herself, and to be honest, he was starting to feel guilty about it. He knew she’d had visions about him, and she’d said to him when they had talked the other day that she was pretty much certain that remaining human would have something to do with him. Umi hadn’t meant to place full responsibility on him, Kisame knew that—in fact, she’d said it herself. But he couldn’t help but think about it over and over again. It was to do with him; therefore he should have some clue as to what would keep her human—he should know. But instead he was sitting there with no idea as to what to do about it, Umi no doubt worrying her ass off all on her own knowing that he couldn’t help. But then he’d realised that sitting there blaming himself wasn’t going to help either.

So he’d changed tactics.

Strangely enough, for the second part of his night Kisame had actually tried as hard as he could to get to sleep. He wanted to be fully awake the next morning with a clear head in case he could actually come up with a solution, and he didn’t want Umi to worry that he hadn’t slept all night because of her. It would give him some calm time to himself without having to think about everything that would soon be happening; for one moment, at least, he could be freed of that burden. But naturally, the second he attempted to sleep...his body wouldn’t let him, cruel irony taking over and almost mocking him. Nothing he did worked. The bed would be uncomfortable, so he’d turn over several times, getting nowhere. He’d flip the pillow over to the cold side; but that had no effect whatsoever. Then he’d get hot, so he’d throw off the blankets, only to become freezing a second later and have to cover himself once more. His bladder then felt the need to speak up, and growling at himself, Kisame had dragged himself out of bed to go to the toilet, lying back down for one moment before he needed a drink. Hours passed in this way, until eventually Kisame was simply lying there, staring at the wall in front of him blankly, having just about given up.

Once again his mind drifted to Umi; but somehow his brain couldn’t imagine how hard it was going to be saying goodbye. Though it in a way, it wasn’t the goodbye he was truly focusing on; somehow, some way, he would deal with it. It wasn’t that he didn’t care and was brushing off their friendship entirely as if it hadn’t mattered...but what was concerning him most was how Umi would react. When she turned back into a mermaid, he would go with the Akatsuki and leave, getting assigned missions and travelling all over the world, using his abilities. Umi would return to a lake—with only a certain amount of space—with no human contact anymore. Everything she had learnt about this world would become useless, and all she would be able to do was stare up at the shore and think about her memories. At least he had a job and missions to do that would keep his mind off this whole thing; but Umi had none of that. Her world would close in on itself, and she would lose it all—he could understand why she had felt the need to isolate herself from him. Kisame would have walked away without another word if it meant he could do something to help her once she was back in the lake—but just like so much at the moment, he was rendered completely and utterly useless.

How was he going to be without her? Umi had changed so much in his life. Kisame had never been as close to someone as he was to Umi right now, and the idea that he would simply say goodbye and then turn and leave was one that did not sit comfortably with Kisame. Would he ever see her again? He didn’t know. Whether Pein would let him visit her at some time or another was a mystery as well; although Pein knew how close they were and how he had wanted Umi in the group to begin with, he also led the Akatsuki, and therefore knew of all the missions that had to be completed to make their goal a reality. Allowing Kisame to do something which would waste time for the Akatsuki was most likely something that Pein wouldn’t do...but Kisame didn’t want to accept the idea that tomorrow would be the last time he would ever see Umi's face.

He cared about her too much.

The feelings had been there from the start, Kisame had figured that out a while ago, and they had only increased the more he got to know her. The connection they had always shared didn’t exactly help, either. It reinforced what they had and strengthened it in a way that Kisame couldn’t help but feel couldn’t be recreated with other people. Umi was special to him, and not because she’d had visions about him and he had something to do with keeping her human. Because of who she was; of her personality and everything about her identity. She just clicked with him and made him whole. Kisame had always stuck out like sore thumb, but when he was with Umi he forgot about that. He wasn’t some freak who looked weird; he was simply her friend and like anyone else—but she saw him as more than that. Kisame now understood that Umi was a part of his identity; that without her he wouldn’t be who he really was. He had to convince Pein to let him see her again; there was no way he could go on like he had before otherwise.

The bright light of the sun suddenly shot across his face, causing him to wince and back off, slowly sitting up and sighing as he realised just what that meant. It was a new day; the last day he would have with Umi while she was still human. For a moment Kisame remained gazing at it, wishing desperately that he had the ability to control time; if he could, he’d just replay their time together over and over again, stuck in a loop that was nothing but happiness and contentment. But he knew it couldn’t be. Sooner or later, he would have to let her go.

Though abruptly it hit him...he didn’t have to.

Umi might be turning into a mermaid...he might have to leave with the Akatsuki...but he would never truly lose her. In a literal sense, maybe, but not metaphorically. He would always be with her in the same way that Umi would always be with him—that connection had been evident even when they hadn’t met. When he had looked into her eyes that day, he hadn’t known who she really was or anything about her life. And yet still he hadn’t been able to look away; her gaze had affected him so much, and it was like they had known each other all their lives the connection was that deep. Regardless of where Kisame was in the world, that connection would remain, and he would do everything humanely possible to keep it there.

Nodding in determination at that fact, Kisame stood slowly and left his room without a sound. Facing her would be hard, neither of them truly knowing what would happen—but he wanted to talk to Umi. He had to find some way to say goodbye; and even if he couldn’t find the words, he at least wanted to spend some time alone with her before everything was set in motion. Maybe that would be the best way after all; simply sitting together in silence, knowing they were there for each other and always would be. Describing how he felt towards Umi would be difficult enough, and Kisame knew how upset she was going to be. If Umi felt too upset, however, Kisame wouldn’t let her say anything. He’d do just what he’d done before; hugging her and letting her remain in his arms. For one last moment they would be together.

Umi's door loomed up ahead, and to begin with Kisame slowed to a halt, staring down at the door knob, his hand hovering over it as he fought with himself as to what to do. Everything was so complicated, and it was always so uncertain! He wondered what she might be doing in there; whether she had gotten any sleep either—but the moment his thoughts passed over her, and Kisame shook off his hesitancy. He had to be strong; for Umi, at least. He couldn’t waver when she must be having such a hard time, and so he grabbed the handle and opened the door, calling out her name softly.

But she wasn’t there.

Instantly panic gripped his heart, and Kisame darted fully into her room, checking everywhere to make sure she just hadn’t answered. Finding her room empty, he went straight back out into the corridor, half running towards the other rooms to check if she was there, starting to call out her name as he did so. The sound of his voice began to rouse the others—but it was Itachi who reached Kisame first, questioning as to what the matter was. Kisame ignored him to begin with, continuing searching through the hideout before he finally realised Umi was nowhere around, spinning to face Itachi and breathe hurriedly,

“She’s gone, Itachi. I went to say goodbye, but...she’s nowhere around.”