Stutter || Larry Stylinson

Chapter Twelve

dedicated to woopstylinson for the amazing new cover! 

Louis' Story 

I REALLY WOULDN'T READ THIS CHAPTER IF I WERE YOU. IT. SUCKS. BUTT. PLEASE DON'T READ IT.

The first time Louis had to deal with death, he wasn't exactly sure what had happened. There was just nothing that was passing through Louis' head that said, 'hold on, there's something wrong'. So, as his mum and dad sobbed into their hands and his aunt and uncle hold each other tight, Louis stayed in the background, trying to figure out everything that was happening around him.

The only thing Louis knew was that his great grandmother had just passed away. That she was dead and was going to be put into a casket-box-thing that would soon be put into the ground. That she wasn't coming back. But he didn't understand why. But, he didn't want to bother anyone else with his stupid, four-year-old's questions of why. So, Louis just cried, too, hoping that this was the right thing to do when someone passes away. 

After that, no one had died that Louis actually knew. Sure, he sometimes caught a glance at the obituary, but no one he recognized was written in there. So, he didn't understand the pain that Niall was feeling when he had come into the OuTkAsTs room, tears building up in his eyes. Right away, Harry and Zayn were up out of their seats to comfort Niall, and Liam and Savannah just looked on, hurt and sympathy in their eyes. 

But Louis just sat there, confused. Because he just didn't, couldn't, understand why Niall was crying. Louis knew about Niall's uncle, John, who had been suffering from some mental disorders for awhile now, had killed himself over the weekend. And Louis knew that someone dying was tough, that there was an excuse to cry. But he just couldn't understand why you would want to cry. For all of Louis' life, he wondered what was the point of crying over something that is going to be true no matter what. That was inevitably going to happen. Yeah, Louis would definitely cry if his uncle died, or if someone even closer had died, but he still couldn't understand why it was human nature to start crying. 

To tell the truth, Louis would rather laugh and remember all of the good times he had with that person than cry about the bad things that had happened, or were happening, with that person. He didn't know why people would start crying, even though he knows that the person who died wouldn't want everyone to be crying. If a person lived for everyone to be happy, they should be happy after the person's death, too. 

Even though these questions were running through his head, clouding his thoughts, Louis got up from his spot on the couch and hugged Niall, pulling him into his chest. 

~O~

"I d-don't-t-t un-und-derstand-d," Louis muttered, making Savannah and Harry look up from their spots on the floor. Louis pulled his feet underneath him, his back against some pillows on his bed. Savannah nodded, pushing her hand through her hair so it landed on her shoulders. 

"I don't, either. I mean, I know that John had some mental problems, but I wish he could've dealt with them in a different way. I'm heart-broken. Didn't he have anyone to help him?" Savannah had asked, looking up at Louis' ceiling like God himself would come down from the Heavens to answer Savannah's question. 

Harry looked at Savannah like she was crazy, and then turned to Louis, prompting, "What do you mean, Louis?"