Exposition.

Kiss. (III)

Only fools fall for you, only fools,
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall.

-Fools, Troye Sivan.

*

Michael doesn't quite know what to think when he sees James making out with Danielle at the party.

It feels like a kick to the stomach. His heart feels like it has sunk to the floor, kind of like it always does at the top of a roller coaster, just before it plummets to the bottom, when he realises he's made a mistake by agreeing to ride the death machine, and he wants to get out, but he's too fucking scared to even move.

Danielle is all over James, James is all over Danielle, and Michael's just standing there, hopelessly staring at the two of them entangled in each other, as though he's praying it isn't real.

The thumping bass of the music at the party dulls out to faint thuds, and Michael feels like someone's slapped him hard across his face, like his brain has forgotten what it's like to be conscious.

Michael doesn't cry, though. He never cries. James has always been the crier. He doesn't cry all through the taxi ride back home. He doesn't cry while he lifelessly climbs the stairs up to the apartment. He doesn't cry when he's silently undressing alone in his dark room.

But when he buries his head in his pillow, hoping that it's all a bad dream, and that he'll wake up with James, tangled in his arms, peppering him with kisses, he catches a whiff of James' scent- a heady mixture of his shampoo and cologne- and a sob catches in his throat.

And then he cries.

He cries till his pillow is soaked with his salty tears. He cries till his breathing is erratic, spasmodic gasps. He cries till the burn in his lungs takes his mind off the pain he can feel in every fibre of his being.

He cries till he hears the front door close with a thud, because then he knows that James is home.

He hopes that James will come into the room and beg for forgiveness. At some point he even hopes James won't remember what had happened.

Because, even after everything, Michael is still in love with James.

And he'd take him back, because he's never felt this way for anyone else before.

And given a choice, he'd take James over anybody.

But then he hears two sets of voices, drunkenly giggling, heading away from him towards James' room.

And he knows that he's been a fool for letting himself fall so hard in love with James in the first place.

*

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