My Dealings with Devils, Spirits, and Gods

I End Up In A Shower In Hell, Fun Right?

To be fair if you never knew any of the things I was told, till then you'd faint too. Now, just because I was 'unconscious', didn't mean I really got any rest. I felt like I was falling for hours, at first it was terrifying but then it got boring. When, I finally touched the ground I saw a person who was basically everything I'd want in a chick. Like, you combine every seductive feature and race into one person you'd get a bit of an idea how sexy this girl(or woman) looked. She noticed me and covers herself with her arm and hand asked "who the fuck are you, why are you in my shower, and, why the fuck are you naked!?!?" when she said that I noticed last two questions were true and I immediately covered my crotch with both hands. And then I noticed my surroundings, I was in most definitely in a shower but it was as big as my whole room complete with one of those giant baths you'd see in movies about the ancient Greece or Rome, the entire room was a unique and nice mash-up of past and present. As I'm admiring the decor, I hear a click like a gun I turn back a barrel is pointed at me. So I told her "Lady, I don't know how I got here and I'm Demetrius, can you please put the gun..? sword...thing...​Down?" as I was saying that I noticed that it wasn't an ordinary gun or sword. The "sword's" blade was about 5 ft long and the hilt and handle were formed by a pistol (no idea what kind, I was never big on guns like that). She looked me in the eyes and said with a little more curiosity than animosity "Not until I don't want to kill you. Now, who are you? And, are you man, demon, or angel?" I answered her questions with "Okay and like I said I'm Demetrius. And, to answer your second question; I'm two of those things according to my Uncle." As I said that her curiosity grew more but the animosity matched it this time; as her curly long black hair began to burn with embers. Before I knew it my back was against the wall literally and she then had the blade of her weapon against my neck, as she asked me "which two?" "Demon and Angel." I told her. (I mean I figured she'd kill me if I hadn't said anything.) Then, she pulled the blade away from my neck and asked "Who's your father?" "no clue, but my uncle goes by Amadeus on Earth but I think here he's called- " I started then, she interrupted me to say "Well Asmodeus, is my uncle as well. Which makes you either my cousin or brother. You'd better hope not the latter."  and end off with a light laugh. By the way when I was admiring the room she probably magic-ed some clothes on, I don't really know. She was dressed in a blue jeans jacket/hood, black t-shirt that showed her stomach, some perfectly fitting black jeans(not too tight or baggy) and a pair of black combat boots. She was clearly a tomboy. While I was contemplating this, she asked me "Why are you still naked?"

my reply was "I don't have any clothes."

"can't you use magic?"she said seeming confused, like that was common knowledge to be able to use magic. I may not have been normal but I was not capable of magic or witchcraft at the time, dammit. I told her that I just found that I was a Nephalem. I never knew my parents; so I'm not sure who they are. And, I ended up here before Amadeus had a chance to tell me anything else.
"Alright, stand still. I'm not good at this with people who aren't me" she said, before holding her left hand out and shooting me in the face with magic. I flew back and hit the wall from the force of the blast. I was pretty pissed off but almost immediately I was out cold again. I woke up wearing a black pinstripe suit and a silver tie. The suit had the emblem which was like a split image over my heart that had a horn and a wing like my uncle's on the left side; and half a halo and swan like wing on the right side. The room I was in was similarly designed as the bathroom, combining past and present in the most extravagant of ways.(for the record I'm not big on decor but I can't say that it wasn't impressive by any means)When I got up from the more than accommodating bed, I went to look out the window and saw the there was a purple sky, with red clouds, and a blue sphere in the sky. Also I was very unsure of the time as I'd never seen anything like this before. Then the tomboy that knocked me out came through the door and asked "How'd you like your nap Demetrius?" I told her "I feel pretty good, but I got one thing to say, I never caught your name." I was well rested but I also felt like I was far greater than I was before, physically and mentally. Her response was "Name's Lucy Beelzebub, ya dick and from what it looks like I can easily kick your weak ass, so speak to me with some respect." At that remark I felt the need to exhibit that I was stronger than what I let on. As, I decided to punch the floor and it cracked in its entirety. "impressive for human standards but an infant Demon can do that 100 times over" Lucy told me "by the way, our uncle is here" as she said that I heard that familiar overly lax voice of my uncle's saying "Lucy, don't kill your cousin yet we need him to try to win this war before it begins." the redhead biker that basically raised me was now dressed formally and having greased his hair into a more regal style. Then I heard a not so familiar voice "that's true but we seek peace now, my brother." Lucy looked a little scared at that one.