3:02 the clock read. I sighed. It's been 3 and a half weeks since he left. Each day has been torture. I hadn't been to work that much. The place where my heart was supposed to be felt empty and cold. When he walked out that door he took my heart with him. He was my happiness. He was everything to me and now he's gone. We both messed up. Somewhere along the lines we forget what we meant to each other and we broke up. It didn't end well either. It ended with one of the biggest fights we ever had. Screaming and crying and broken things and Tom storming out.
Now I'm laying in the bed we used to share clutching one of his shirts that he left. It still smelled like him. And if I closed my eyes and thought just right I could feel him too. My phone was laying in front of me. His contact information staring back at me. I was gonna call him about an hour ago but I didn't. I decided to text him instead.
I typed in I miss you... But I couldn't hit send. Instead, I stared at the message like it was an alien. He loved aliens. I picked up my phone and held it above my face. I just kept staring at it not wanting to press send.
Then, being the clutz I am I fucking dropped my phone on my face. I scrambled to pick it up.
When I turned the phone back over the message was sent. How the fuck?
I looked at the little grey lettering underneath the message. Read at 3:05.
The little bubble with the three dots immediately appeared under my message.
I set my phone down and screamed. I wasn't supposed to send it! Why did I drop my phone? I heard a buzz sound and I quickly picked my phone back up.
Tom: I miss you more...
Tom: Can I come over?
Tom: I have to see you, I miss your kisses.
My heart fluttered and I texted back.
Me: Yea you can come over its your house too...I just wish it wasn't so empty...
He didn't reply but I didn't expect him to. He should be here in like ten minutes because last I heard, he was staying with Mark. I don't know what I expected to come out of him coming over. I knew he wasn't gonna stay long. I put his shirt away and took a quick shower.
After that I cleaned up a bit so the house wouldn't be such a mess. I pulled on his shirt. It seemed like a bad idea at first but I decided against it. I brushed my hair out after six days. I laid back down and literally seconds later my phone lit up.
Tom: Come answer the door babe
I got up out of bed and made sure I looked okay. He can't call me babe he can't just leave me and call me babe. I was only wearing some panties and his shirt. I wasn't trying to seduce him or anything I just wanted to be comfy and he of all people should know what my idea of comfortable was. I went downstairs and opened the front door to see him leaning on the door way. I felt rejuvenated when I saw his face, like, his presence was ethereal. Just seeing him made me light up. We didn't say anything I only stepped aside so he could walk in.
We stood awkwardly staring at each other. He took his coat off and set it on the couch. "You're still wearing my shirts ?" He asked quietly. "Do you want it back?" I asked. "No keep it,you look nice" he replied. He looked at my legs which didn't have anything covering them. He didn't say a word about it.
"What have you been up to?" He asked. You've gotta be fucking kidding me. "Really Tom?" I asked crossing my arms. "You really want to know what I've been doing?" I asked. He remained silent. "I've been drinking my pain away, going through the house and taking every picture we ever took together, and everything thing you've ever touched and putting it in that box right there" I said pointing at a cardboard box. "I've been trying to erase you from my memory, I've been crying myself to sleep because I miss you so much and the pain is unbearable because I love you so god damn much you fucking asshole! that's what I've been doing, and I regret texting you now because I should have known it would be like this" I said angrily.
