Worse Things

Chapter 1

Beep .... Beep .... Beep ....

I wake up in a haze, trying to remember who I am or where I'm waking up. See I always have the same dream. I'm in the middle of the waiting room at the local hospital. Families are sitting around me, you can see the hope on their faces, hope that the doctor will come out of the grey door across the hall and tell them that their mom or their dad or their sister is going to make it. The doctor walks out of the doors, and I can tell by the look on his face that one of the many people in this room is about to have their world fall apart beneath them. He stops in front of me.
And then I wake up.
It's been 2 years 47 days and 19 hours since I found out my mum died, it doesn't bother me anymore and it certainly doesn't bother my dad, but I still have the same dream of the day I lost her. I've already gotten dressed into my new jeans from the vintage store down the road Demolition and my favourite top from the Beatles 1966 tour of the United States. It was my moms.
I can hear my best friend Riley tapping on my window. We've been friends for years now and we lean on each other for everything. She comes here everyday to walk me to school in some attempt to make sure I'm doing okay. I'm grateful for it, it's just, I wish people would stop babying me and trying to save me from what's inevitable. Death. Ever since mum died it's like nobody can talk to me without asking if I'm alright or without stopping their conversation of who died in the latest episode of The Vampire Diaries thinking I'm going to lose it if I hear about it.
As I come out of my thoughts I open my window and say hi to Riley. She's always been there for me and I appreciate it, I don't know what I'd do without her. We go into the kitchen where my dad is making pancakes with my new step-mum Alice. I don't believe he actually loves her. I mean how can you love someone you've known for less than a year. So I decide that an Apple will be enough for me to eat this morning and I head out grabbing my coat as we go.
The walk to school isn't long but in the winter it's pure agony to walk without a beanie and scarf, which I of course have forgotten today. I definitely couldn't stand going back though. Seeing my dad with Alice just reminds me of how he's totally forgotten about mom.
"So how'd you sleep last night?" Asks Riley.
"I've slept better I guess. I just wish I would stop having that dream." I reply, hoping she'll drop the conversation.
"You know it'll get better, Maya. I'm always here for you, you know that right?" She says.
"Yeh I know." I say, hoping she doesn't notice how distracted I am.
Across the street I can see Josh. The person I've had a crush on for most of my life. He also just happens to be Riley's brother which means she would totally flip at me if she knew I liked him.
As we walk through the gates I say goodbye to Riley and make my way to the library. Ever since we lost my mom I've gotten into reading a lot. It feels like an escape. A different world where nothing bad could ever happen. As I walk through the glass doors the librarian, Josie, smiles at me. We've become pretty close in the last few months. She's a sophomore like me but she volunteers in the library for extra credit. I look at the time and see that here is still 25 minutes before homeroom. So I decide to sit in the far corner of the library, the one no one goes to, and continue reading the book my English teacher assigned to the class for this semester. I'm almost finished unlike most of the kids in my class.
I hear the bell chime and immediately look up from my book. The library is empty and everyone is rushing to class. As I run around the corner of the bookshelf I crash into someone and hit my head on the metal shelf.
"Ouch!" I shout as I begin to pick up my textbooks.
"Sorry. Hey your Riley's friend aren't you? Maya right?"
I look up from the floor and I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. I've thought of a moment like this for years. When I would lock eyes with josh and we would fall instantly in love. This is nothing like that.
"Um .. Yeh. Maya, that's me." I stutter already regretting opening my mouth at all.
As I stand up I can hear Josh giggling.
"What is it?" I ask
"You um, your hair. It's just ... Let me fix it."
Josh reaches out and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear. I freeze on the spot. And all I can think of is what Riley would think of me right now. And then I hear the second bell ring and I know I'm late to class.
"I ... Uh. I have to go to class now." I say stupidly
"Oh yeh. Sorry. I'll see you round." He says, as I start to get control of my thoughts again.
"Sure." I say as I run off to class.