Clearly Ashley and I were on different levels when it came to the gym. She was easily benching 130 and I was lucky to lift the bar itself. That didn't stop me from agreeing to join her for a work out after final formation. I pushed the loose blonde strands of hair away from my face and tried my best to look like i wasn't struggling but I could tell I wasn't fooling her. She politely faked exhaustion and offered me a ride home.
On our way to her truck she playfully grabbed my arms and shouted
"Hercules! Hercules!"
I admittedly had no clue what Ashley was referencing to. She looked appalled and i thought for sure that I had blown my chances with her. I was proven wrong when she told me we were going to watch the Disney classic Hercules together.
A few hours after dropping me off at my barracks room she returned with Hercules and Pocahontas; another Disney classic I was being shunned for never watching.
We watched the two classics and many others that night. We talked about anything that came up until the sun did. That was when we realised we had missed first formation. It was a first for me so I had only received a verbal reprimand but it was well worth it.
Our succeeding dates included paintball matches and football games at Buffalo Wild Wings and I loved every single one of them.
*present day*
"Baby girl?"
I forgot she had just asked me if I was hungry. It happened that quickly- dissociation.
"Yes, sorry my love. What are you hungry for?" I apologetically replied.
"Anything you want" she replied with three consecutive kissed.
That's been our secret code for as long as I can remember. Three kisses meant I'll love you forever and a day. It meant everything will be okay. It meant I'm here. It meant the world to me.
There was something about her touch that just sent me spinning. From the first impulsive kiss (my move not hers) to this one. The gentle kisses that said all the right things without speaking a word; those kisses are my favorite.
Ashley always managed to make me feel whole and strong. I mean, she is the one that gave me the courage to stand up for myself and finally embrace who I was.
*Three and a half years ago*
Even with everything else going on, Ashley managed to get to know me (the real me) before the incident. In the month that we had been talking I told Ashley things about me that I had entrusted very few people with before. I hadn't even revealed half of my secrets to Thomas and we had been dating for a year. That was about to change though.
"Baby girl" she insisted "you've got to tell Thomas the truth; for you and him"
Despite what a lot of people thought, Ashley was anything but malicious when she encouraged me to break up with Thomas. Granted there was a potential relationship awaiting us but she honestly just wanted the best for me and she wanted me to feel free. There was no way to control the ongoing case. There was no way to control my nightmares. There was a way to take control of how suffocated I was feeling by this secret life.
When Ashley said I needed to tell Thomas the truth, she didn't mean about my sexuality alone. I have still managed to keep from him the fact that his best friend had just commutes an unthinkable crime and his girlfriend was the victim. Thomas needed to know what happened and he needed to be set free from this toxic relationship. I don't know if he ever fully understood what I was trying to say that night but when I finally ended my relationship with Thomas I really did feel so much better. My family still didn't know the full story regarding our break up and they wouldn't for a few more months. Those that did know the underlying reason seemed supportive for the most part. Of course, mutual friends if Thomas and I were torn over the whole situation.
I was finally out and somehow knowing that I had the courage to finally not only accept my sexuality but embrace it helped me gather the strength to power through the tremendous obstacle course I was headed for.
*Present day*
Ashley had just called me to the kitchen when I saw that she decided to spoil me with sub style sandwiches and pasta salad.
I first tried the Engert family pasta salad one summer at a barbecue hosted by her parents. I fell in love with it from the first bite. The pasta salad consisted of tri-colored noodles, cubes of cheese, sliced onions, peppers, olives and pepperoni all mixed in with zesty Italian dressing. Hands down my favorite.
Ashley made it a habit to prepare my favorite dishes when I was upset. She knew I wasn't the type to eat on a stressed stomach so she found a way to outsmart me; cook my favorite dish and I simply couldn't refuse.
Typically Ashley would fight me to do the dishes but today I needed to keep busy. I think she knew that because today she let me clean the table and fill the sink without a word.
After drying the last of the dishes I returned my diamond ring and wedding band to my bare finger.
I still remember the day she told me we should get married. Yes, she told me, there was no question.
YOU ARE READING
Life Sentence
Mystery / Thriller33 months never really seemed like a fair sentence, but that's what he got. Meanwhile I was serving life. granted I wasn't in a physical prison but the one I had created in my mind was all the same. I was labeled the victim and for years I accepted...
