Gøne :Twenty Øne Piløts Fanfic

9: That All My Bridges, I Have Burned

*Possible Trigger Warning*
(suicide,depression,self harm)

Tyler's Point Of View

I lay awake still thinking, reaching over I grab my notebook, instead of writing "lyrics" I write a note. No not a suicide note, more like a save me note. With a shaking pen I begin to write letting my hand lead the way.

Dear Mom,
Please help me. I need to see someone, I'm not sure who. I can't keep fighting these wars that are waging above my throat. I love you but bananas are not helping, no matter how much they are supposed to help with depression. I'm having suicidal thoughts but I don't want to leave you, I love you to much to do that. Please help me live. -Tyler

I slowly fold the paper into thirds and slip it under my mom's door like I used to do under my brother Zack's door. I slowly walk to school, hoping I don't have to deal with my mom after she reads my letter. Nope...I thought. "Tyler you are being dismissed." My French teacher told me. I got up and walked out of the classroom down the hall to the office. I nearly puked when I saw my mom with tear stained cheeks.

I hurt her so much already, that note didn't help I should have ended myself so I wouldn't be a burden to her. "No Tyler, she would be worse if you left." I thought to myself just to have Blurryface ruin it.

The car ride was silent except for the faint radio in the back. "The songs on the radio are okay but my taste in music is your face." I jotted down in my almost full notebook. I slid in my seat as the car stopped, we were at the hospital, going to the physiatrics floor. I felt safe, knowing I can get the help I needed.

I immediately felt as if I was going to collapse as I walked into my "new home for a few weeks" as the nurse called it, the anxiety was gnawing at my insides. 
***
I sat on the uncomfortable bed writing with the door open. My mom would be bringing me some of my own clothes in a few hours, I can wear them after the nurses make sure they are safe. No shoelaces, no belts, no drawstrings, basically nothing that can cause me harm.
At least I still have a notebook, the therapist came in to talk to me,she asked the normal questions:
"Do you have suicidal thoughts?"
"Have you attempted suicide? If so how many times?"
"Have you self harmed? If so how long ago?"
I gave her blunt but truthful answers.
***
I've been in this hell hole for a week and a half now, everyday we have morning group therapy, then room time, then art therapy. Also the is a room with a piano, so I get to work on my songs a little bit.
They put me on antidepressants,anti anxiety, and insomnia medications, when I went home and I will be seeing a therapist once a week.

The car ride was silent but I could tell my mom wanted to say something, but she didn't until we got home.
"I'm glad you wrote that note, I'm sorry I never payed attention to see you constantly sad or wearing more clothing than necessary. I love you, we will get through this together."

I just nodded stunned at what my mother had said and went to text Josh. I had 53 messages from him, the last one said "I talked to your mom she said you are sick with the flu."

Tyjo: hey

Jish: hey....treehouse now. Please?

I climbed out of my window and ran to the treehouse to see Josh. When I climbed through the little door in the floor I was welcomed with a pissed off Josh.

"Hey" Tyler said.

"Why didn't you text me while you had the 'flu'?" Josh asked adding air quotes to the word "flu".

"I...uh was sleeping a lot and was to tired to turn it on."

"Okay...whatever." Josh huffed out before leaving Tyler alone in the treehouse. 

*A Few Days Later*

Tyler has texted Josh a total of 25 times and all of my texts have been read, that means he's okay right?  Josh doesn't go to the treehouse anymore  or walk with Tyler to school, he started to disappear.

Tyjo: Josh?! Please talk to me! Treehouse?
Sent:10:34 pm
Read:10:35 pm

Tyler grabbed his sweatshirt with the skeleton on it and his notebook heading to the treehouse. Sitting against the far wall was Josh Dun, he'd been crying.

"Josh?" Tyler's voice was barely audible but Josh's head shot up, fear glazed his eyes as he began to run. Tyler called into the dark but was greeted only by silence. "Is he afraid of me?" Tyler thought. "Does he know the truth about the mental hospital?" The mere thought of that place sent an ice cold shiver down Tyler's spine. 
___________________________A/N: Thank you to the 104 people who have read this, knowing that you actually are interested in my story means so much! Also from now on the titles will be song lyrics and I want you to comment down below what song it is! Don't cheat by looking up the lyrics though!