Poetry From A Broken Mind

Naked Soul

No one ever saw
My true self;
No matter how many times they pried,
They could never break through.

But you managed,
You got through;
I never imagined that anyone
Could find the chink in my armor.

You were a friend,
You listened and talked
Then I felt something
Foreign to my heart.

When I talked to you,
It was easy;
I told you about what my father did to me,
And you got mad with me.

You texted me in the morning,
Calling me beautiful;
I smiled and replied,
Liking the feeling.

You were the best,
Best I ever had.
But my question is,
Were you ever really mine?

I let my mask fall,
Let my soul's robes slip;
Showing you a side of me
Others only wish they could.

I opened up to you,
Gave you a sip;
But you wanted more
Than I was willing to give.

You were mine,
But you weren't really;
Just made me think you were
When you really had someone else on your mind.

I think about this often,
And raise my questions;
But am quick to quench them
After all, it doesn't matter.

You weren't mine,
You wanted something else;
When I didn't give it to you,
You turned to another girl.

Am I jealous
That she had your heart?
Or that you left me
With no love from the start?

No, not really.
I'm used to the pain;
Betrayal, bullying, heartache.
Sad to hear someone say that, right?

No, what hurts more is
When you hear someone say
That you are their one and only
When they're thinking of someone else.

So why were you
So mad when I ended us?
Because you knew you fucked up,
Or that it wasn't you doing the heart-breaking?

Well, call me what you will
I've been called worse;
Not unlike your girlfriend,
But also, your ex.

I hoped I was your last girlfriend,
Knowing I wasn't your first.
You promised me forever,
But I guess this is how long your forever is.

Five months,
One week,
Two days,
That's so long, right?

It wasn't to me,
Not in the slightest.
I was happy, and you were to
Or so I thought.

But no, I wasn't,
And neither were we.
Now look at what you have
Done to me.

I can't love
For a long time now.
You and your lies
Fucked that up for me.

But don't think I've given up,
Because that I won't do;
I still hope that I can find someone
Who can love me like you couldn't.

Many people just
Give up, toss in the towel.
But I am a soldier, a warrior,
An heiress to the Most High King.

I have my dignity,
And I have my pride.
My Father in heaven
Knows you were just a lesson I had to learn.

So I wish you the best,
Not the worst out of malice;
You will get your reward
or your own actions.

I am new again,
Reborn of the spirit;
He has revived my soul,
Nourished it to its optimal usage.

I am His instrument
That He is perfecting;
To be of better use to my King
I need to forgive.

So I forgive you,
For the pain you caused
With your words
And empty promises.

I let go of the hurt
And the malice stored within
So I can be of better use to my King
And have a better heart to Him.

I have had my eyes opened
To a different kind of love;
A short, sweet kind
Gone with the wind.

Daddy is making me better
Of untamed nature
For His purposes
He wants me to be better, so
He gives me obstacles that sharpen me.

I am still in the free fall,
Still weightless in the air;
But I am no longer falling,
But floating with angel's wings.

I see the beauty
of an untamed nature;
Laughter a boisterous cacophony
And gates like ivory.

My rags from the earth
Dissolve into beautiful robes
Pure and clean for preparation
For my time in heaven.

I am weightless,
Feeling the breeze on my face;
Flying amongst the clouds
On the way to see my Father's face.

So, or revoir,
Sayonara and adieu
I'm off to see my Father
And saying goodbye to