Poetry From A Broken Mind

My...

This body is comfort,

This voice just a gift

This life like a luxury

I can barely afford.

These eyes so pretty,

This hair so glorious

These hands so blessed

But wasted on me.

I would think to myself

‘What if I wasn’t here?’

Doubts of my existence having meaning

Drowning out the rest of the noise.

I contemplate so much,

From the meaning of Life to the relief of Death;

From the beauty of nature and the loneliness of the full moon,

But will never be able to voice how I feel about it.

I will never be able to admit

That I feel just as lonely as that full moon,

Unable to find love in this lonely, hopeless place;

Feeling like I’ll be forever alone, never to meet my other half.

I will never be able to elaborate

Why I think Death’s kiss will be sweet,

Or the sting of Life’s constant abuse;

Those are morbid and obscure concepts to the rest of humanity.

I know I am not the only one,

That there are others who feel the way I do;

But is it so easy to shake off this feeling,

This thick, cotton and fleece blanket of sad numbness?

No, it isn’t, not in the slightest.

I can’t shake it off,

No matter how hard I try,

And end up exhausted from the effort.

My soul is too old,

My mind too deep;

None of the new souls of this world

Could ever understand my thirst.

My spirit thirsts for another

Someone else that feels like home;

Something familiar to help anchor me

In this unfamiliar place.

I thought I found him when

I was a high school junior;

But I trust the wrong one with the gun

And, not caring, he pulled the trigger.

So is my life

Really worth much

When all people want is

Someone to fall back on?

I am just the second choice,

Last resort, second fiddle.

But when their world’s crumbling around them,

They turn to me.

And there I am

With the heart I have,

Comforting them, telling them

The words I long to hear from someone else.

The words I tell them,

Are the words I long to hear;

I try to tell them to myself,

But no one likes a liar.

But they seem to like me

When my presence benefits them;

So the must like a liar

Because I lie every day.

The smile on my face,

The laughter from my lips

are all faked and forced,

Since I don’t feel genuinely happy.

They are my facade,

My lie to make others happy;

Keep them comfortable,

When all I feel isn’t.

How long will it be,

Until I snap?

How much longer

Must I make a lie of my life?

I can’t take it anymore,

My sanity’s slipping;

I’m on the edge,

Almost limp in the free fall.

One misstep, one little mistake,

My body weightless in the fall;

I see every moment of my excruciating life,

Then the blue sky and