A Seventeen Year Old's Mind

the feeling

Will you ever understand the feeling?
The feeling of insignificance, of underperformance, of self hatred.
Will you ever understand the feeling of betrayal and overwhelming annoyance?
The feeling of car crash, of not good enough, of never good enough.
Will you ever understand the feeling of second best at best?
Of covering your face when you smile because you hate it.
Of running away when you need to cry because you can't be weak.
Of trying so hard and it being a futile effort.
Of despising what you see in the mirror each morning, and only accepting it after layers of make up and hours of hair straighteners.

Will you ever understand the feeling of me?
Of self loathe, last place and nothing special.