A Likely Story

3. broken spine

1am

“You know, I ate Chinese with dad and I got this fortune cookie that really... that really meant something... you know?” Katie looked around at us with stoned blue eyes. Her pupils were the size of five pence coins.

“What did it say?” Matt asked, inhaling deeply and blowing the smoke straight into my face. I coughed and smacked him around the head.

“What?”

“What did it say?”

“Oh!” Katie straightened up a little. “It went... it went, the light at the tunnel is only there for those who see it.” She looked around as if to see just how moved we were.

There was a silence in which I tried to nod meaningfully, thinking it best not to say anything. I glanced around; Matt looked like he hadn't caught a word. Then I saw Luke's mouth twitching, the permanently chilled out look on his face replaced by one of utter disbelief.

“That is the biggest crock of shit I have ever heard,” he said decisively, and I burst into giggles that kept tumbling out until I was howling with laughter, and Luke laughed alongside me. I saw the hurt look on Katie's face and tried to stop.

“Well, I think that's how it went. It was quite a bit ago,” she said a little defensively.

I managed to get myself under control. “Sorry Kat, it was very interesting.”

She wrinkled her nose at me and tucked her arm in Luke's. He looked over at where Matt and I were sitting.

2am

“What are we doing?”

Matt stared at me blearily, his handsome features blurred with darkness. “We're in the park- no, I don't know,” he said confusedly, like it was a trick question.

I lay back, propping myself up with both elbows. “No. What are-” I broke off, suddenly realising that I was doing it again. I stretched my arm to reach for the water bottle, and took a mouthful of what I had recognized earlier on to be lemon vodka. It tasted like bug spray, but that didn't really matter anymore. My mouth felt numb and tasting things was becoming more difficult, like when I had a blocked nose. I took a deep breath, to see if I could actually smell.

“Alright?” he asked.

“Fucking... no.” I made an attempt to drown out the last word by taking another gulp, clutching the plastic bottle so hard my knuckles turned white.

“What?” He leant down beside me, his hair blending in with the dark grass. I could literally feel the same words on my lips again, an object I'd put there myself, and I knew if I didn't do something they would come spilling out like coins from a fair machine. And that would have been fine, but he didn't understand and he wouldn't understand, and that was something I was very sure of.

So I did what I knew he would understand. I looked slowly over at Luke and Katie, who were sitting a few feet away, drunk off their faces and getting off with gusto. Then I looked back at Matt and smiled, wondering at the same time, maybe hopefully, if he would notice how the smile had wavered and disappeared as quickly as it had come.

Wishful thinking; his mouth curved up into an eager grin and he leant forward to start the first messy kiss of many, pushing me gently backwards into the grass that made my arms itch. His hand pulled at the bottom of my shirt, tracing a circle on my stomach, and his cold fingers moved up until they reached my bellybutton. He tugged on it and it almost felt like I was about to explode with pain. “That is so damn sexy,” he murmured, his breath hot on my cheek.