*I Won't Pretend I Don't Exist* Brian Haner

*Chapter One* Going Home and Peppermint Body Wash

So basically, this whole story is dedicated to these two ladies for getting my so inspired by these amazing guys. If this story sucks, blame them, haha

    “Here, Shanlie.” My roommate, Krystin, said; handing me a warm mug of hot chocolate.

    “Thanks.” I said quietly, my feet dangling over the side of our balcony. She sat next to me as we watched the sun sinking lower over the Miami coast line. The sun was a brilliant orange as it moved lower and lower in the sky. As is finally disappeared behind the tree line, the sky that was just filled with vibrant hues of pink and orange suddenly seemed leeched of color. The pink and orange and blue of the sky seemed pale, like somebody had taken an eraser to them. Like the life had been drained out of it and it just didn’t have the energy to keep going.

    I could feel Krystin looking at me, watching me carefully. I knew she wanted to say something, but she wasn’t sure what. An ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ doesn’t quite work here. We were silent as the wind picked up through the buildings. I’ve come to call it the Wind Tunnel effect. The same thing happens in New York City. Once the wind starts going, it can get up to forty miles an hour through the tall skyscrapers. As the sun sank lower, the colors started to get more vibrant again. The orange and pink looked like a fresh tattoo on the sky, renewed with life. It gave me a tiny bit of hope.

    “Are you going to go?” She asked finally. I stared at the foam in my mug.

    “I think so. I think if I don’t, I’ll regret it forever.” I saw her nod out of the corner of my eye.

    “Then you better get packing. Your flight leaves tomorrow morning.” I looked at her nervously. “I’ll be fine. Maybe, if you decide to stay, I’ll come visit.” She smiled. I nodded, thinking that that was what I needed.

    “I hope you get to.” I said quietly.

    “Come on, let’s get you started.” She said, pulling me to my feet. We headed back inside the loft apartment and I headed for my bedroom to start my packing. I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to my brother, telling him that he could expect me on the flight tomorrow. I pulled the two suitcases that I own out of my closet and dropped them unceremoniously onto my bed. I flung open the covers and began to deposit my clothes into them. I packed my toiletries and everything I would need. I didn’t know how long I would be staying. That depended on Matt. I knew he was hoping I would stay forever-but I’m not entirely sure that after he gets to know me again, that it will remain true.

    No one ever wants me to stay.

    My phone vibrated on the nightstand and I slid my thumb across the touch screen to read the text message back from my brother. He said he would meet me at the airport and he couldn’t wait to see me. I typed back a smile face and got back to packing. I fell asleep somewhere around one in the morning, making sure I had everything packed and it was all by the front door. I woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking and coffee brewing. I smiled. Krystin was the best roommate ever. She was my best friend and I would have lost it a long time ago if it weren’t for her. I got dressed into the clothes I would be wearing on the plane and headed out to the large kitchen. I got my favorite mug and poured the dark liquid in.

    Krystin offered me the eggs in the pan but I shook my head. I was too nervous to eat. Flying wasn’t my favorite thing in the world to do, and the reason I was flying was beginning to eat away at me.