Out Of Bounds

13| Relapse

I grunted in frustration as I stared at the homework I was trying to finish during lunch. The trip to the lake yesterday ended up being four hours long. I got home at eight o'clock and accidentally fell asleep on the couch which prevented me from doing my four-page math homework.

I sat outside of the school under a tree that was in between the field and parking lot. I couldn't concentrate because there was a group of boys yelling and playing football. The cafeteria wasn't an option because it was always loud, and the library was closed. I wanted to pull my hair out and slam my head against the tree trunk.

Suddenly, a familiar navy blue van parked in a spot nearest to me. Owen came out wearing black aviator glasses, a loose white v-neck shirt and black jeans. As soon as we made eye contact, I smiled at him as he started walking to me.

"How's my soccer superstar?" He greeted, taking a seat next to me under the shade.

"In the process of dying. How did you know I was here?" I slammed my math textbook shut. I had math next period. 

"You told me at the lake yesterday how you have a designated tree you like to hang out under when you need to escape from school, a willow tree." He bent his legs, resting his arms on top of his knees as he watched me intently. Well, his head was pointed towards me at least, I couldn't quite see his eyes through his shades.

I liked sitting underneath here because there was a frequent breeze that other trees didn't provide me.

"I remember, but how did you know the willow tree was here in this spot, you're not from here?"

"Can't a guy use google maps street view to look for the place where his new friend hangs out?"

"A bit creepy, but the real question is what are you doing here?" I asked as I repositioned my back against the tree. I'm pretty positive that there are imprints of bark on my back.

"I'm starting to believe this is an interrogation," he sighed. "But to answer your question officer, I was here to ask a very important life-changing question."

"What is it?" I asked.

"Do you want to be-" he stopped mid-sentence, his head suddenly looking up.

I turned around. I was certain it was Shawn, but it wasn't, it was Rebecca. She looked dreadful. She wasn't her usual perfect self. Her hair was unkempt, and her clothes were mismatched.

We both stared at her. Then she started talking, "can I talk to you?"

Owen glanced at me, waiting for a signal from me to send him off or let him stay. I nodded my head and mouthed I'll be fine. He didn't ask me his life-changing question, the reason why he came here in the first place but I did my best to shake it off my brain as I watched him leave.

I waited until she said something. Instead, she looked at the guys playing football on the field as one team ran to each other hugging in joy over their victorious win.

She inhaled heavily, "I know we're not on good terms, but I have no one to talk to and-"

"That's your fault, Rebecca."

"I know, and trust me I regret it-"

I interrupted her once more, "is this another apology? I don't really want to hear that right now."

"It's not. I have no one to talk to about the fact that my mom got into a car crash two days ago. I wanted to talk to you after school yesterday, but I couldn't find you and-" her voice cracked. Her eyes started to fill with tears. She tilted her head back, resting it on the trunk of the old willow tree. "She was dead on arrival. Logan's on vacation, and there's no one to talk to except you. I'm sorry for fucking up and choosing wrong, and I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry I have to bother you after everything I've done. I need my friend again even if you don't see me that way anymore." Rebecca mumbled.

I knew her mom, Laurie, really well. She looked like an older replica of her daughter. They share the same straight brown hair, the green eyes, and the same sharp plump lips.

And that's what hurts; being used to someone or something and then all of a sudden it disappears before a blink of an eye. We didn't talk for the remainder of lunchtime. We sat there under the old willow tree, crying about a precious person that no longer existed. I comforted her, not in words but in actions. I rested her head against my shoulder and wrapped my arm around her to reassure her that I was here for her no matter what obstacles came hurdling towards us.

•••

She wasn't at soccer practice that afternoon. I didn't expect her to be. She probably attended classes because knowing her she wanted to distract herself. That's all I could think about: Laurie driving the car seconds before she entered the collision that ended her life. Laurie being rushed into the hospital. Laurie in a casket. Laurie underground.

"Abbott," the coach's loud voice brought me back to reality. "The goal isn't to stand there. Shoot!"

I glanced down in front of me, a black and white soccer ball was a few feet away from me. It was my turn to try to shoot it in the net. Our goalie, Winona, kept her eyes wide and her hands ready to intercept the goal.

I kicked hard, imagining that Winona was everything I hated in life: people leaving, betrayal, lies and death. I kicked the ball, and it went right straight into her stomach. The force and anger along with it.

Everything after that was one complete blur, and somehow the clearest thing I remembered was Shawn's sympathetic face guiding me into his car.