Finding Love Back

Chapter Three: The tough goes shopping!

It's Friday and I still don't know what to wear.

I checked my closet for something decent but the only thing I found was my prom dress.  But it doesn't suit the occasion.  I need a mask too. And I don't know where to find a good one.  

When I had my prom, I dreamt of wearing a nice dress.  But because I lack money, I end up wearing my Aunt's dress when I was a Junior and a short dress I bought when I was a Senior.  Maybe this is a time to find something good and express myself. To finally fulfill my dream of wearing a nice dress to a gathering.

I love fashion.  I love clothes.  In fact, if only my parents will allow me, I'd take up Fashion Design.  Not that they said anything against my interest in Fashion.  I never open up the topic.  I'm the eldest in my family.  My dad retired early.  My mom is a housewife. I have one younger brother in highschool now.  And if I ever dare take up Fashion Design, finging a stable job after graduation will be difficult.  Developing your skills to be able to make it to the fashion scene and be known don't happen overnight.  In addition to that, I don't have any connections.  That will help a lot to make you known.  But none in our family is interested in Fashion or is in the Fashion scene

So I ended up taking Accountancy.  Ironically, I hate money.  I hate it how much it changes people.  I hate how it controls people.  How it makes them feel so powerful when they got lots of it.  How they abuse it. I hate how they fight over that rectangular piece of paper.  How many people get killed and imprisoned because of it.  How many homes it destroyed. And the fact that everything revolves around it.

But here I am, studying something that involves money.  And I will most probably get involved with it until I die.  I have no choice, though.  Being the eldest, I should find a job as soon as I graduate.  And I know Accountancy will help me.  Almost all business will need an accountant. Anything that involves money (which is almost everything) needs an accountant.  Finding a job will be quite easy, perhaps.

When I didn't get any acceptance letter from the top schools I applied in, I considered applying in the School of Fashion and Arts.  I told myself that maybe, this is God's calling.  That I am destined to take it up. But I got one acceptance letter from a school also known for their Accountancy program. So, goodbye, Fashion Design.  But I still plan to take up special classes when I graduate. I ain't giving up my dream to become a stylist.

"Whate are you looking for?" My mom just entered my room, carrying a laundry basket full of newly-washed clothes she just neatly folded. 

"A dress. Or anything I can wear to Michelle's party." I remember I haven't asked them about it.  

"Oh, Michelle?" she said. "Do you mean the girl from your hishschool?  The beauty?"

Even if I won't ask them about it, I know they will allow me to go to the party.  Now that she even found out it's Michelle's party, she'll surely allow me. She will probabaly even ask me to go if I ever change my mind.  She knows Michelle from the various school programs Michelle always get involved in.  She's probably more than happy to see her  unsocial daughter attend a social gathering.  Finally.

"Yes. And I think I have to go out and look for a dress. I need a mask too.  It's a masquerade."

"Alright. Then go.  When's the party by the way?"

"Tonight." I sighed.

"What?! And you are just looking for a dress now?!"

I am.  When I got Michelle's invitation, I thought I will come.  I told myself I will.  But the next day, the day I was supposed to look for something to wear, I suddenly hesitated.  What if I will only feel out of place in the party? I haven't contacted my highschool friends if they were also invited and if they will come. I called my bestfriend from highschool but I found out she's in Singapore, on a  vacation.  So most probabaly, even if she was invited, she won't make it.  I am pretty sure I will just feel very awkward.  No one to talk to.  All of them knows each other except me.