Finding Love Back

Prologue

When I told myself I want to fall in-love again, I should've thought twice.

When you fall in love, you have to make a choice, whether to let it happen or not.  Falling in love is a risk.  Because love isn't all about the shivery feeling when you're with him.  It isn't just about the happiness he brings you at the end of a tiring day. Nor the inspiration he gives you to continue on during hard times.

Love entails pain.  They always go together.  Love that is unreturned.  Unrequitted love.  A love that you want to forget but still can't.  A love that needs you to make a choice.   No matter how much you try to avoid the pain, it will still find its way.

  I should've known. I should've known.

I kept telling the same thing to myself over and over again.  Thirty minutes.  I only have thirty minutes left before he leaves. And I'm not even sure if I'll make it.  If I am lucky, I can reach the airport in less that twenty minutes and still have time to look for him.  If I am lucky.  But no, I think luck isn't with me today.

Of all days, why now?   The taxi I'm in is barely moving.  All cars are barely moving. For a moment, I was tempted to just walk out and run. But the airport is still kilometers away.  If I will run my way to the airport, I still wouldn't make it.  It's too far.  

But it is already killing me inside.

I dont want him to leave again.

I  gave the driver a few bills and immediately opened the door and ran. Maybe I can just ride another taxi when the traffic starts to lighten. But for now, I will just keep on running.  

Why didn't he just say it to me? Why do I have to know about it just now? He's the one responsible for all of this after all.  Does he even know how painful it is for me when he left? And now he even set me up with a guy?

He made my heart waver.

I don't know if made the right choice.  But I had enough.  I really should've known. His face, his mannerisms..the ring.

I should've known it was him. 

I should've known he was and will always be the man I love.