The Real You Girl You Don't See

Chapter 5: Reflection

Yeah that's how my friend backstabbed me. Not once, but twice. Nothing less of trickery, messing with your mind, and hurting you for the rest of my life. Too this day I wonder what I did wrong. Is it because I'm bad person? Maybe I'm socially un-fit. Who knows? I sure don't. But, they say that the past is in the past. But why can't I stop thinking about it? Is it because the girl I wanted to give my heart to hired a kid to put a knife to my throat? That could be one of the reasons. Who knows? Maybe I need help. Maybe I'm crazy. I don't know. This whole experience hurts a lot. Every time I think about it, I just get depressed. But that's the thing, I can't stop thinking about it. I have no idea why. I stick with my real friends now. Life goes on. But why can't I just forget about this? Every day I think about it. Sometimes, I have dreams, like her and I are friends again. I had this dream once that he actually did kill me. And she came in and laughed. Spat on me. Dreams. Just dreams. My friend, Nathan was in on it the whole time. He claimed he didn't know, but he did. He helped plan it. This experience is something that will haunt me. Maybe I don't need friends. Maybe I could be fine by myself. Who knows? It is what it is, nothing less. My dad says that a lot. This Wattpad story, I did it to reflect on what happened. I am definitely changed. I have learned some things. I am different. I think was a wake-up call as well. I am definitely more mature. Not so loud. But at a party or gig, definitely when I'm djing, I am loud. I watch what I say. I have a hard time trusting people. But sometimes, changing is good. Maybe she's crazy. She could be. I wish I had never met her. I wished she never moved to my neighborhood. But wishing it all away does nothing more than make it worse. The girl who used to bring me happiness, the one person I could be myself with, brings me nothing but sadness and hurt feelings. There's a saying, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. Did this make me stronger? It hasn't killed me. It hurt, but it didn't kill me. If anything, I think it made me weaker. Revenge. Revenge would be nice. Really nice. But, if we constantly lived by revenge, life would be hell. Revenge isn't always the answer. In this case, it might get me hurt. (Or killed.) It would definitely not be worth it. I could never hurt her like she hurt me. Not in a million years. I think I have finished what I want to say. Feel free to comment on anything, but I will not put up with insults or cruel comments. Well, I hope this story has taught you something. I hope that it well help prevent this from happening to anybody. Thank you for reading.