dear you, (2)

october 1st, 2014

dear you,
you told me fall was your favorite season, that october was your favorite month.
you woke up today.
i was in the cafeteria getting food when it happened.
by the time i was done you had been up for twenty minutes.
when i got back upstairs and saw that your eyes were open, i dropped the food i had in my hand and hugged you so tightly i probably could've killed you if i hadn't let go.
you hugged me back with one hand, patting my back awkwardly.
i immediately knew something was wrong.
i pulled away and looked at your face, into your eyes.
there wasn't that light in them anymore.
"cody?" i whispered weakly, i remember my voice wasn't much louder than the beeping of the monitor you were hooked up to.
the words that came out of your mouth next, broke my heart.
"i'm sorry, i feel terrible. should i remember you?"
my breath caught in my throat and i almost collapsed, but instead i gave you a weak smile and shook my head, "no no that's fine, im not really that important."
i picked up the journal i'm writing in right now and walked out of the hospital room.
i heard you calling after me, yelling "wait!", but i didn't turn around.
i kept walking until i was out of the hospital.
now i'm sitting on my bed, the one we laid in so many times together.
i love you.

love,
april