Chapter 2.
At home everything is not okay. My mother needs weekly hospital visits, she coughs up blood and she can't keep food down. Doctors continue to tell us that they cannot figure out what is wrong with my pained mother, and it leaves me super frustrated. A deep sorrow fills my house everyday and nights are long and bitter; full of crying, and painful muffles coming from the master bedroom in which my mother tried to catch sleep.
Two weeks past and school is going fine. We got our first projects and I love all my teachers. At lunch everyday Caleb says hi, and we will usually talk about our days for a few minutes before his groupie steals him back. It brings a smile to my face whenever he decides to talk to me instead of his normal group. He is so nice to me, just when I thought no boy would ever spare a glance at me.
When he walks away I pay attention to his buttocks, he is a football player, and they do have nice bottoms.
We switch classes half way through the year, and apparently Celeb and I have PE together. Great! I could only imagine me sweating my skin off and his beautiful six pack. We talked about it, he said he would run with me everyday. I feel close to him, I want to be his friend. I am not sure if I am yet, but if I'm not I soon will be.
The next day, I open my laptop to find I have multiple Instagram notifications. One in particular catches my eye. Caleb. "Hey kimmy-" when he calls me kimmy. God it's so cute, maybe I should come up with a nickname for him.. " just needed to talk to you about something, so text me. (916)555-1430" my heart started to beat, and in my mind thoughts raced.
What could he need to talk about? Was it good or bad? Does he like me? Of course he doesn't. I texted him, and I didn't want to sound needy, but I didn't want to come off as rude. "Hey" it took me 5 minutes to make sure that was what I wanted to say. A few moments later he replies with "kimmy?"and I'm caught up all over again.
"Yeah, what did you need to talk about"
"Well I just wanted your number, and my dad got me some basketball tickets for Saturday. Would you want to go?"
My heart started beating like crazy and I was blushing at my phone like an idiot. I didn't know jack shit about basketball other than you throw a ball into a hoop and you normally have to be tall. However, I could care less about the rules.
My dad came Into my room and asked who I was texting. I tried hard not to grin but I couldn't help it. "Caleb brown" I said with the largest smile with my pink and purple braces. He gave me a smirk and asked what we were talking about. I told him, and asked about Saturday. Surprisingly my dad said yes! My life couldn't get any better. Until..
I jump and nearly cry for the sound is loud, close, and scary as hell. A brick flew through my living room window. And on it was written in black spray paint "slut".
Never really cussing, I had no clue what it meant. So I asked my dad, his facial expression looked like he had seen a ghost. It means you're a skank, a whore, not a virgin. And his fear turned into fury.
My heart sank deep into my chest. I was a virgin! I never had a boyfriend! Did someone hate me that much? I never really did anything bad to anyone.
"What the hell Kim, who would do this, who did this! What did you do!" I began to cry, for I hadn't done anything wrong. It hurt. He was accusing me without even listening. I ran to my room and cried myself to sleep. My phone rest on my pillow next to my wet face print and I drowned in my own tears, into the world better than reality. My dreams.
I wake up and I go to look in the living room. I call for my dad, no answer. I go outside to check for his car in the garage. It's not there. I stumble upon a note with "Kimberly" written on it. I pick it up with confused emotions and read
"I'm sorry but I refuse to be the father of a whore. You've brought me shame and news is spreading. I'm afraid I can't do this. Don't bother to call me, I am gone. Good bye Kim. -dad"
Tears ran down my face and as I go back into the house I rush to my moms room, I check to see if she's feeling better, and I call her name. She doesn't flinch.
I check her fever and she's as cold as night. I realize she's dead. I scream and cry. When I hear a knock at the door, I can barely manage to pick my self up and I crawl to the door, drool and tears falling as I drag my body against the hard wood floor. I wipe my face and open the door to find every person from my school, including Caleb. In unison they chant "slut, slut, slut, slut..." I slam the door and fall onto the floor when my vision begins to blur.
This isn't happening. No. This isn't real life. I'm dreaming. This is a nightmare. My father is upstairs, watching baseball in the game room. Mother is sleeping soundly in her room.
I close my eyes as tears fall harder.
I soon became numb. No emotion. No more. I ran to my bathroom in my room and and felt everything I ever ate come pouring out. My stomach was in pain as it hastily clenched. After puking my guts out, my vision was getting worse.
I laid on the tile as it became worse.
-
I wake up from my bed in sweat and cry for help. It was a dream. He didn't leave. I wiped my tears. I get up and look in the mirror. Slut. Well if people think I am, then why Would I want them to be liars. I rummage through my closet and find 4 tank tops, all my shorts and I cut them. Something my nana would never approve. I find some dresses too small for me from seventh grade and I throw them in the pile, I sneak into my moms room and grab three pairs of heels. Pink, red, and black stilettos.
The next morning I wake up and go through my make up. Eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow and lipstick. Bright red lipstick. I curl my hair and don't pin my bangs back. I pick out a red skirt that is 12 inches, and a black tank top I cut last night. My chest is small so I grab some tissues and put it in my bra. I slip on the red heels and spray a perfume I found in my mothers bathroom, called "sexy lady" I put on a trench coat so my dad isn't confused. I tell him it is for the school play, and he just nods.
I put the trench coat into my backpack and strut onto campus. I hear whistles, and clapping. I feel grabbing on my bottom. I smile and keep waking. I see a group of popular girls and they give me one hell of a dirty look, and look away. I feel confident, and I'm no longer a nobody.
The bell rings and I walk into my first period. I get weird looks and laughs. Every period was like this. At lunch I saw Caleb, he looked at me in disgust and walked away. I've never felt so alone. None of my friends would talk to me and I came home and cried.
