*trigger warning for abuse.
Castiel shifted uncomfortably before taking a deep breathe. He could do this, couldn't be?
He was about to go on his 5th date with his new boyfriend, Alex. He was extremely excited but he was super nervous about passing the brothers in the library. He hasn't told the Winchesters about Alex because he's scared they'll hate him or think he's joking, but Castiel took a deep breathe and sped walked toward hoping they wouldn't notice.
"Cas, where are you off to in a hurry?" Dean asked looking up from his burger. Castiel froze before turning to look at the older, attractive Winchester.
"I'm going on a date..... with my new boyfriend," he said trying to sound calm as possible.
Sam choked on his salad while Dean dropped his burger back onto its plate. Dean and Sam looked at each other before turning to look at Castiel.
"Good for you buddy," Sam smiled," I'm glad your getting on your feet after the fall."
Castiel smiled widely then turned to Dean," Oh, yeah Go get'em Cas!" He used a great fake smile.
Castiel smiled even more," You don't know how happy that makes me." His phone buzzed," Oh well that's him, better get going. Don't wait up!" He shouted as he ran out the bunker door.
Castiel went on many more dates with the Alex fellow. He really liked him. Dean on the other hand hated him. He hated him because he got to Cas before he could. He got him before Dean.
Dean had always had a crush on the angel and he though after the fall he might be able to confess but he chickened out. Sam also didn't like the guys because when the brothers finally met him we was a huge ass and tried at any possible moment to act sexual to Castiel. Sam was awfully protective of the fallen angel. To Sam he was like a brother.
But the boys said nothing to the poor angel till one day Cas came home acting a little different. He dazed and didn't pay attention at all. He only locked himself in his room till he had another date with Alex.
This happened for a month or two till the brothers found the angel's secret journal.
Dear Diary,
Alex took me to the fair today! It was amazing! He took me on the Ferris wheel and when we stopped at the top he kissed me as the sun set. It was so magical! Oh and he won me a bee plushie!
Dear Diary,
Alex accidentally slapped me. He apologized immediately after though. I forgave him
because sometimes I wanna slap myself too.
Dear Diary,
Am I a horrible person? Alex calls me one all the time. He says that I shouldn't be loved. Maybe he's right. He also called me a mistake, a burden. I'm starting to think he's right.
Dear Diary,
Alex's punches are getting harder to bare and the bruises are getting harder to hide, but I sea weed it all. I'm horrible excuse of a human. I was a horrible angel as well.
Dear Diary,
I'm such a fuck up. I can't even kill myself properly. My father says all creation deserve life but maybe he lied. Maybe I deserve death.
Dear Diary,
I don't know how much I can handle
Dear Diary,
I think I'm done
Dear Diary,
Goodbye
Dean slammed the book shut," I'm gonna kill the fucker." He snarled. Sam nodded along, eyes wide.
It was a couple of hours before Castiel got home. Alex had demanded to see his home so he was with him. Alex held his hand as he walked down the stairs to the bunker. His cheek was throbbing from where Alex had slapped him earlier for not behaving.
The first thing Castiel saw when he reach the bottom of the stairs was his journal, on the table, in-between Sam and Dean. Horror flooded through the fallen angel as he saw the look on their faces. It looked to be disappointment. Cas let go of Alex's hand and lowered his head
"You fucker." Was the first thing Dean said when Alex entered. He immediately punched him and punched him till Sam pulled him back. Castiel had cowered into the corner as Dean beat up his abuser.
"I never wanna see your face again or you around my Castiel." Dean hissed in his face. The boy nodded before scurrying away.
Dean now turned toward his angel," Cas" he murmured as he got closer to him. Castiel busted out crying and launched in his arms," I'm sorry!" He cried," I'm such a fuck up!" Dean only kissed his head," No no Castiel," he said almost crying as well," You're perfect just the way you are." Sam joined in with hugging him and for once in his now human life Castiel felt loved.
As it got later Sam left reluctantly to go sleep. Of course Castiel was gonna go sleep in his bed but Dean refused and they slept in Dean's bed.
As they laid there Dean started to sing softly to Cas
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
The other night dear
When I lay sleeping
I dreamt I held you in my arms
When I awoke dear
I was mistaken
So I hung my head and cried
You are my sunshine my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away "
Castiel started to cry before joined in singing
"You are my sunshine my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You'll never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away
Please don't take my sunshine away
Please don't take my sunshine away"
Castiel felt water hit his hair and he knew Dean was crying. This made the angel cry more. " I love you Castiel so much. Please don't ever leave me sunshine."
Castiel sniffled before looking up to meet his eyes," I'll never leave you Dean. I love you too"
Just a tad bit sad huh. Well I'm gonna cry now peace out!
