True Love, I Guess

Chapter 2

Seeing that he hasn't replied yet on the last chat message that I sent him, this morning at around 3am, I sent him another one saying, "Hey, why didn't you tell your story to me? How are you?" I'm still waiting for his reply at the moment, and the last time I checked, it wasn't tagged "Seen" yet. So, while I'm waiting for his reply, I decided to post a blog regarding our story. However, I kept my identity anonymous just to avoid the pouring questions from other people, especially from my family who is really not into him. I posted it in two websites namely Anonyme and Wattpad, knowing that he's also a book worm like me. In fact, he loves to write poems and stories; I even have soft copies of his written stories saved in my external hard drive, but I haven't read them yet. I remember him telling me, "Hey, I've written a story back when I was unemployed for two years. You might want to check it out." But the best part is, he likes to read stories from Wattpad and other websites for blogging so, I'm just hoping that he'll see this story sooner or later so that he'll know the truth behind the things that had happened between us in the past. I wanted him to know that I am really, really, really sorry for what I did to him. I know that I've been such a bitch to him and I even managed to ditch him despite his gentle nature. I know I'm not in the position to ask or wish but if there's any chance left, no matter how small, I just wanted him back in my life. I wanted him to make me smile again the way he did back then. I simply wanted him to be there for me; to complete me, because I really feel that something's missing in my life ever since we've been apart. I've been with several guys afterwards, but I still felt that indescribable "emptiness" in my heart all the time; and I kept on missing him so bad. I don't want to keep these feelings to myself anymore because the feelings are just getting worse every single day that I wake up knowing he's no longer with me.

While I was checkingthe blogs that I've posted earlier, I noticed that one of the readers posted acomment saying, "He loves you. Instead of wasting years, go get him or youcould lose him forever." This comment hit me like a rock because I think Ialready knew that before I even resigned in our company. It's just that I wasn'table to realize it since, I really hate to assume things and people's behaviordue to a very bad experience from it. So, I started crying again in my roomwhile I'm typing my reply for that particular comment. I said, "But I don'tknow how. I don't even know where to start. He's not replying on my chatmessage again. Honestly, I'm always crying myself to sleep because of this." Thereader replied, "Go find him." Just to acknowledge her effort, I replied, "Okay,I'll do that. Thanks for the advice." But the truth is I still don't know whatto do. I know where to find him because I'm pretty sure that he's still workingin that very same company. I really did keep in touch with our friends there.However, If I did that and I successfully find him, what will I say to him? Ithink I'll be just like an idiot who will be looking for words if I went thereto see him.