True Love, I Guess

Chapter 3

"Have you ever loved someone you knew was wrong for you?" – Harley Quinn (DC Comics)

Yeah, I'd like to start this chapter with this quote from Harley Quinn of Suicide Squad since my family and friends keeps on telling me that he's not the one for me; and that I should look for a better guy. So, basically he's my Joker and Puddin – the only one who can make me smile and laugh in a genuine manner; the only one who can make my day complete; and one of the major ingredient of my happiness. But you see, right now I don't know if I'm still "The Joker's Harley Quinn". 

Last night while I was checking my posted blogs, I noticed a private message from one of my readers saying, "So, if you really know where he is, I'd suggest that you go see him. Believe me, if he still loves you, just seeing you will be the happiest moment in his life. You see, I'm just like the guy you are in love with, I mean the situation. I once loved a girl who was just like you, and I was left behind almost the same way you left your guy behind. So, I have some idea about what he will feel if you go to him. The more time you waste, the less confident you will become." Then I replied, "Wow! Your message left me speechless! But thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it. So, you're saying that I should go to his place just because I wanted to see him; even though I don't know what to say to him? I have to admit, it's really scary and at much risk for rejection and embarrassment. But somehow, I have to try it, I guess. Well, do you think I still need to inform him via chat that I'll be going to his place?" The reader said, "Yes! You should absolutely go. As for notifying him, I don't know his personality therefore I cannot be sure which one would be better. I think it will be sufficient if you just tell him that you wanted to see him. He might even reply. You see, after being rejected so may times, it's really hard for him to take you seriously. So, you have to make sure that whatever you do, it will not make him feel that he's being rejected again. As for the advice itself, I do not know. I cannot be sure about anything. You just have to choose what you really want; and if you are sure that you really want to be with him, then you have to act. After all, love is what matters to you most, right? Your love for him and his love for you. So, do not be afraid." For a moment, I even thought that he's the one who's sending me the messages. But then, I snapped back to reality. I didn't replied to the reader anymore. Instead, I checked the chat messages that I've sent him earlier.

I noticed that they were already tagged "Seen" at 9:08pm; and he's also online. But he still hasn't replied. So, I decided to do what the reader just told me. I sent him a chat message again saying, "Hey, kidding aside. I missed you. Seriously, I just want to see you. Let's go out sometime. Don't worry, I won't make you pay my bills. ;)" I thought he will just ignore me again so, I never expected for a reply. However, he managed to surprise me by replying after a few seconds. He said, "Wow! I guess you're rich already." I replied, "Not really. Well? Let's go out?" He said, "I think you already know that I'm working on night shifts. So, what will it be? A morning date? I think it will really be awkward if I'm really sleepy on our date." I replied, "Oh, it's fine with me whether it's a morning or an evening date. We can do it on your day off. By the way, I'm off on weekends." He said, "And where will you take me? I'm not that easy type of guy you know. But, you can convince me though. Hahaha!" I laughed hard and I remembered that "Happy Feeling" when I was still with him. I really missed those days. It's been a while since I had my last dose of hard laughter – you know, the kind of laughter that is not empty; the kind that can make you forget your problems in life. Yeah, I really missed that. So, I replied, "Hahaha! That's it! That's what I really missed about you. So you see, I will really try hard to convince you to go out with me. We'll just eat and have a little chit chat. Then we'll do whatever you want to do next." He said, "How about, you braid my long hair? How many hours will it take you? Hahaha! Well, do you have new movies in your external hard drive? You see, the hard drive that you bought for me is nearly full." I replied, "Well, I can braid your hair if you want. Your hair can't be longer than mine, I guess. Hahaha! And yes, I have lots of new movies." Then he jokingly exclaimed, "I'm guessing, maybe that's porn movies huh?" I replied, "Hey, don't you dare compare me to your bad habits. We're not the same when it comes to porn movies! Hahaha!" Then he joked again, "I don't watch porn. You know that." I exclaimed, "Wow! So now you're a good boy huh?!" He said, "You see, my hard drive's very innocent and clean. It only contains Biblical items. If I saw a movie with just one kissing scene, I immediately delete it. You know that, right? Hahaha!" I snapped back, "Very well, you sure you don't have a copy of 'Fifty Shades' of Grey there?" (Because I was the one who placed a copy of that movie in his hard drive.) He said, "Well, I do. But I'm not watching it. It's just part of my movie collection. Hahaha!" I said, "Okay, I believe you. Hahaha! By the way, do you still have the hard drive casing that I gave you?" He replied, "Of course! I take good care of the things that were given to me. Try giving yourself to me, I might take good care of it as well. Hahaha!" Those are the kind of jokes that I really miss from him – naughty and funny. The kind that makes me laugh genuinely and just forget everything stressful in my life. So, I told him, "Well, why not? You're going to take good care of me, right? Hahaha!" I also added, "I missed those kind of jokes from you!"

He asked me, "So, what are you doing right now? Me, I'm the team leader for this whole cut off and I just finished dealing with my reports." I told him, "Well, I'm supposed to be sleeping right now since I have work tomorrow at 8am. But here I am, chatting with you right now because I saw that you're online. You've ignored a lot of my messages lately huh? But congrats team leader!" He said, "I'm still working in this company as a part time employee because I still prefer being a Graphic Artist as my full time job. Haven't you noticed my Facebook Account? It's full of graphic images. I replied, "Oh, I see. You never really applied for the full time position huh? But yeah, I've noticed the graphic images that you often post. They're appearing on my news feed. Anyway, I'm really, really sleepy right now. Let's just meet up during one of your free Saturdays, okay?" His answer to this question gave me a sick feeling in my stomach. He said, "Just like before. I don't like making promises because it may lead to false hopes. I'll just see you when I see you. We gotta go home now." With that, I thought he'll be offline after a few seconds so I just told him, "Okay, take care." Surprisingly, he stayed online and told me, "Good night! Don't you dare dream of me okay? You might do something bad to me in your dreams. Hahaha!" So, the sick feeling that I felt earlier suddenly disappeared and I just replied, "Alright! Good night as well. Just text me or chat me whenever you're free on Saturday, okay?" Then I left my mobile number. He replied again, "Wow! You left your number." I said, "Of course, I told you to TEXT ME or CHAT ME whenever you have a free Saturday. So, I gotta leave my number, right?" He said, "So, what's you plan?" I told him, "Just to hang out. Why? Do you have OTHER PLANS? HAHAHA!" He replied, "I thought you're planning to do the "texting-each-other" thing for the whole night. Hahaha!" He also added, "OTHER PLANS?? You know me. I 'm really innocent when it comes to worldly things. Hahaha!" I exclaimed, "Wow! Hahaha!" Then he continued, "So what's your plan really? You might make your boyfriend hit me huh?" So, I told him, "I don't have a boyfriend. Why? Is it bad to see you? Will your girlfriend get mad if I meet up with you?" He said, "No. I don't have a girlfriend. Just fans. Hahaha!" I said, "Well, I guess we've got no problem at all. We'll just have to keep it a secret from your fans. Hahaha! Alright, I really gotta go to sleep now and besides, I thought you guys are about to go home, right? So, just text me on your free Saturday okay?" He did not replied anymore; and he went offline after a few seconds. That's how our chat conversation ended. It doesn't seem to give me clear answers because I still have lots of questions in my mind like – Should I still pursue seeing him? Does he still want to be with me? Am I just wasting my time with this? Everything is pretty unclear at this moment.

After my chat conversation with him, I immediately sent a brief conversation details to the reader that I was talking to earlier. The reader replied, "Absolutely yes! You must continue that conversation. Everything is going, if I may say so, perfectly. I cannot be sure whether he wants to be with you or not. Via chat, it's hard to tell, you have to meet him in order to understand that. He might still be bitter, but he's not showing it to you. You must be pretty important to him. To be able to put up with so much, yet he's still trying to make you laugh. He even kept the conversation interesting. This suggests that he really cares about you. The only thing left for you to do is to meet him. LOL! I'm excited for some reason. Everything looks wonderful. Keep me updated and obviously, if there's something that you want to talk about. I'm just right here." He also added, "Guys like him are rare. Don't you even think about giving up on him. I wish you all the best". I haven't replied to that reader yet but that's a whole lot of support from a person that you don't even know personally. It feels good that I have someone to talk to about this. I cannot share this thing with family or friends because, as I've mentioned earlier, they don't like my Puddin. So, it's really hard, especially if you're dealing with this thing all by yourself.

By the way, I would like to thank that reader for his utmost support. You know who you are, Thank you! I will not mention your name in this story to keep the anonymity of the characters.

So, to end this chapter, I just want to ask you guys - Do you think he will text or chat me? Do you think he will find time to see me? So, see you on the next chapter. I hope that everything will be fine.