started with a lie ➳ raura revised

Chapter Thirty-Three

I drive home.

That's what I do after I leave the hotel. That's what I do after I leave New York City. And that is certainly what I do after Tracy tells me she's pregnant. I didn't say anything to her, I didn't talk. I don't want to talk or even think about it.

Pregnant?

As in there's a fetus inside her and she could very well be a mother soon. As in that the father just might be Ross or why else would she be telling me? Maybe I'm the one who got this all wrong. Tracy isn't the relationship destroyer—I am. Maybe I read it all wrong again just like with Cody and Melody. But there's no way Ross and her could've gotten together because during the whole last few months I've known him, he hasn't been with Tracy. She's been in France, too. It doesn't make sense.

Tracy is pregnant.

It keeps ringing in my ears again and again. It rings in my ears even a er I park my car in the driveway and come home. I ignore the house's horrid and trashed state and just walk inside.

What if Ross had been seeing Tracy? I mean after I abruptly left after his birthday bash and after learning about Tracy that one time, he and her could've continued their relationship. Ross didn't come back into my life to tell me he loved me. He came because he realized my mother was in a car crash. We weren't even official until a few days ago.

"Hey, Laura!" Joel is holding a sandwich between his teeth and is dressed in pajama pants and a white shirt. He's stopped walking by the living room, watching me as I come in. He hasn't cleaned the house yet and is looking at me like I won't notice. Normally, I would be furious and act like a nagging mother to make sure he made the place spotless but Tracy is pregnant— fucking pregnant—so I just take o my shoes and run up to my room.

"Laura?" His voice is confused but I can't tell Joel anything. He would go punch Ross or something or anyone because that's how Joel deals with things. And right now I would love to deal with things like that too.

I run up to my room and am grateful that at least people have left. I lock the door and jump onto my bed. I feel like crying but I won't, so I just lay on the comforter and stare at the ceiling of my room. I kind of feel numb, which is worse than angry or sad.

Only one damn word comes to mind: pregnant.

I'm nineteen. I shouldn't have to worry about the word pregnant. I shouldn't have to worry about anything actually except upcoming events like graduation and college. I shouldn't have to worry that my boyfriend's—can I even call him that?—fiancee might be pregnant with his baby. My boyfriend shouldn't even have a fiancee, damn it.

I should be worrying about what I'll wear to prom. I should be worrying about getting back college acceptance letters. I should be living a simple life.

I curl to my side. As soon as Ross walked into my life—well, since I lied my way into his—it's been a mess. Lies and truth, both spilling out at once, both equally destructive.

Why couldn't I have just liked some normal kid from school or something? I kick a pillow.

Pregnant.

It's starting to hit me how much of a big deal this is. If it's true, if she's telling the truth, what's going to happen to Ross and I? Everything. Yes, Ross and I love each other but if there's a baby, it won't work out. Sometimes, love isn't enough in life. Lee is a gentleman and would probably scamper off to Tracy and stay by her side whether he loves her or not. He wouldn't ditch her or the baby for me. They do have a strong connection like she said.

Does Ross even know?

I sit up immediately. Does he know? Would he hide that from me?

Of course not....Right? I lay back down. There's no way he wouldn't tell me. Yes, no way. I need to trust Ross just like he trusts me with everything.